What Can Popular People Get Away With...
I remember one time in high school, I was walking down the stairs from the second floor to the first floor, and I think I was going to my next class. A #popular girl in front of me turns around and just slaps me in the face. For no reason.
I didn't speak with this girl on any basis. I never did anything to her. I didn't even bump into her or anything. So why did I get slapped in the face? If I had slapped her in return, I would have been destroyed by the macho-man popular boys she was friends with. So I did nothing. What could I do?
Mean popular girls can get away with so much...
Why is it that a woman can engage in #abuse and face no #consequences as a result? If a man slaps or abuses a woman, obviously it's wrong and there should be consequences. But when a woman abuses a man, it seems to go unchallenged in society. Why is there this double standard that seems to go unspoken of in our society? Wrong-actions should have consequences that can be applied to them.
It also seems that popular people (regardless of gender) can get away with more in our society. People will tend to believe someone who is popular over someone who isn't in a dispute. People give favors to those that are popular. There are probably more examples that I can't think of...
Thoughts?
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It's a tale as old as... well, old as the "male/ female" dichotomy has been around. It is, in my opinion, the most firmly entrenched, and in some ways--a few of which you have illustrated in your post--perhaps one of the most detrimental conceptualizations--at least, vis a vis, our present "modern" world.
Humans are "natural" categorizors; it is much easier to "see" things when we are able to differentiate. And what greater "difference" is so tightly woven into our society than gender? Ohhh... and at such a crucial age as adolescence, when everyone is (ostensibly) "figuring all that out?"
A huge part of it is simple survival. .Animals tend to do better in groups. And who are we more prone to group with? The healthy, the wealthy, the strong--the attractive... and of course here, I include physical "sexual" attraction at the top of that list..
So the pretty ones are at the top, and everyone else (in theory) are underneath, in descending order of "social utility."
I, too, was picked on in school; bullied. Namely, because I was "different"--I had long hair, skateboarded (mind you, this was in the Deep South, where these things are already not too popular...). Over many years, I have been able to muster up a decent amount of confidence--much of it stemming from the fact that I realized this truth: When someone has a problem with you--particularly when you don't even know them, or they have no real reason to--it is because there is something "the matter" with *them..." They are the "loser," the "pussy," the "faggot." (you notice all those "gendered" putdowns? How closely tied to one's self-image and level of confidence--and, similarly, how damaging a blow to this area can be? Especially when young...
There's a saying, attributed to Sigmund Freud, which I think would be applicable here; he said: "Behind every disgust is a desire..." I believe there is much more truth to that than most people realize--especially about themselves..
In his book, Civilization and Its Discontents, Freud talk about how, as humans, we may even have some sort of innate need for enemies or, those who we understand as being "different." Not only does it foster a sense of camaraderie within one's own "clan," but, it also creates, for a lack of a better term, a kind of "aggression receptacle" (lol); in other words, a relatively innocuous target upon which our overwhelming aggressions can be "safely" diffused... at least that was how I read it lol (It's a fascinating book, i'd def recommend. relatively easy read, too, for Freud.)
But I think Freud was more referring to, you know, warring football teams--not slapping people in the face. That would be a failure of a properly mediated psyche lol.
So: to bring it all back together lol. It is my theory that, when this person struck you--provided it wasn't entirely random/ just wrong place, time--it was because there was something about you that either a) you represented something she was afraid of in herself b) "a;" but one (or more) of her "buddies" shared that sentiment ... c) you had a fly on your face and she was just trying to swipe it off. ;) But forreal. That's what's up!! So, if anything, you should feel proud that you were so important, and that these "people" spent soooo much time worrying about you that they went out of their way to do all that. Make sense??
Anyway, that's my little "schpeil" for now--thanks for the post, and bringing up some interesting convo, @krnel! Nice to see one of my witness votes being put to good use :))
Thank you for the valuable comment and feedback. Appreciated :) I tend to agree with most of it ;)
:)
There was no consequences at all? I mean in school in Finland you won't get away with this. I think...
Time for psychological counselling in Finland. To have shown such unrestrained emotion as to slap someone. That Ari dude is crazy. LOL. Spock was 50% Finnish
I'm sorry, I don't follow..
This is just the tip of the iceberg.
If a man and a woman commit the same crime:
The women is less likely to be arrested.
If arrested, the women is less likely to be charged.
If charged, the women is less likely to go to trial.
If she goes to trial she is less likely to be convicted.
If she is convicted, women will serve 60% of the time men serve.
So, you have this saying, that a man never hits a lady.
Which has been changed to a man should never hit a woman.
Women, just drop the lady part. And men let them get away with it.
Men are called misogynists if they bring up any of these unfair double standards. And women are never called out for it. They can get away with murder. Read the S.C.U.M. manifesto. You can buy it at all book sellers although it is clearly a hate piece calling for people to be killed.
Also, popular people, people in power have more ability to call on people to support them. So, any retaliation ends up with you vs. an army. And so, you have popular people who have learned this aspect, and find it fun to abuse people. They can get away with it.
"It's complicated" as one of my teachers used to say lol. These facts, they may be "true," (stats, btw, are... quite quite complicated), but, you could make the reverse argument for racial minorities--who are jailed at a HUUUUGELY disparate rate compared to whites... Do you NOT think THAT is because of systemic racial biases? Puhleease...
With gender, it is highly complicated, and, I believe it's the "last frontier" for our society to overcome as we grow more and more as a world. Unlike race, there truly are very definite "differences" between males and female bodies--BUT--now I want you to really think about this--how much of the belief, that they are the "weaker" sex, is really really that true? I don't know what you look like, but I can PROMISE you: there are prob more than one woman at the yoga studio down the street who could prob give me a run for my money if i were to decide to try and "jump" one of them, or whatever. What I'm getting at is, I would argue, that most--not all--but most of this idea that "women are weaker" is precisely due to the fact that society has been telling them this since they were born. . There is a fascinating article, and then a subsequent short film entitled "Throwing Like a Girl." I would suggest checking it out.
No, I feel that it is because of a lack of fathers when growing up. Specifically at the time when a child disconnects from mother and connects to father (at about 5yrs). If there is no father figure there then, the person will suffer from abandonment issues all their life.
The statistics of fatherless people in prisons is far more striking than race. And it is just because black communities where the hardest hit with the welfare/remove the dad from the home tactics.
Men are 1.5 times stronger than women per body weight. And men are, on average, 1.5 times heavier. Professional women's sport athletes compete against highschool men's teams for an even match.
Women are weaker because it is a trait of sexual dimorphism. Men get the testosterone. Women get the oestrogen. It is a dividing of survival characteristics. It gives the species a much better chance of survival.
Now, there are aspects of feminine where women wipe the floor with men. Such as emotional manipulation. In that arena a man doesn't stand a chance. Just like a women doesn't stand a chance in a cage match
Yeah double standards are everywhere, on both sides too, but there is a level of getting away with bad behavior that is related to appearances as a women for physical attractiveness, but even in men to some degree. People do engage in blind support of the popular figures, and you do end up with an army trying to tear you down when you go up against them... Abuse is fun for many of them indeed, especially bullies on steemit who have come after me. They like it, flag my rewards away for months. Great ppl...lol
Ps. I am familiar with SCUM Manifesto. and yes, it is terroristic for sure... BUT, the woman who wrote it, Valarie Solanas, had quite an interesting story.. She was acrually the woman who tried to murder Andy Warhol, an open homosexual, because she thought he was a male chauvanist. Her arguments for why that was were quite fascinating
Social interaction and survival, at it's core, is and always has been a popularity contest. You may complain of your lack of popularity in high school, but these same mechanisms make you popular on this platform - where you enjoy enormous benefit.
Here you or any other high SP users can 'slap someone in the face' for essentially no reason. But because of your suffering, you are unlikely to abuse your power. This is why a range of experience is essential and, perhaps, the best we can do.
Ideally we'd want to balance things and remove such biases and unfairness but, be honest: do you really think it's possible for human beings as we are? We're basically bias machines run by a semi-rational operator who is always and forever trying to stop the machine from doing stupid, unfair, ridiculous, selfish things.
Although, this is definitely more true for some of us than others...
However, this is a worthy discussion and I'm curious to hear the general consensus.
yes
That's absolutely crazy that the girl would do that!
I've done a couple of experiments (although it is not exactly related to popularity as your post mentions), but I will go to a restaurant, or a bank, or even on a flight, dressed in normal clothes, and then go to the same places dressed up (in a suit) and compare the level of service I get. It's incredible how people will bend over backwards for you when you're wearing a certain piece of clothing, and, at times, they will be quite rude when you're not as dressed up.
Oh, and god FORBID someone's in a uniform of some kind... People are falling over themselves. Then again, these things are signals of sorts, and we have to a degree been trained by survival to pay attention to them.
LOL, yes, uniforms seem to command "authority" and get people to respect or fear them, or both ;)
A good example of being influenced by appearances alone ;)
That is fascinating. People are so dumb lol
even though it was a small post it was really really good and actually it was exactly what i have witnessed too in my life. I don't have an actual answer but i think that people wanna take some of that fame too and the benefits around it.
Taking your example as a base, those men that would helped her out in case you slapped her back would possible earn her a girl ( so imagine date the popular girl) or even just a few thank you words from her that would lift up your social life.
The same applies in life too. Famous people either those are extremely famous like actors or just the n1 club owner in your neighbor will earn the favor of everyone and get away with things as in people's mind those have more to offer than a ''normal'' person. In other words most people think the money and the fame that the actual justice
For the woman, it goes to the we in are the women world, our earth, nations is called her. In even in the family circle the girl child is always been protected and this is what has translating to the larger society.
For the popular people, it just baffle me the more, especially my country all kinds of financial atrocities,
(@krnel you hear and read about you their escapades, you will be flabergasted...)are carried out by the popular and they go untouched, the break the law at will, oppress the common man and they are even rewarded for it. Being is popular those it translated to being lawless...Yeah, it's pretty bad... just run rampant with corruption and they get away with it...
interesting memories, I think he misunderstood you, you should explain to him if you do not make any mistake, indeed in society if a man slaps the woman is a very fatal and violent thing but if the woman who slapped him is considered an ordinary thing because it could be a man doing wrong.
It is so true... People will support those popular dogs and bitches even if they are wrong...those popular people lack sense of humanity in them ..
like post all