😳 Jealousy: Good, bad, evil? 😳
Jealousy is a painful emotion that we have all experienced. It’s an emotion that is often not desired, but still manages to climb its way up.
For those of you who have been following my blog, you know that both me and my partner love to do acroyoga. If not checked, jealousy could easily consume and take over our relationship. I’ve had friends ask me in the past if seeing friends or srangers acro with my partner makes me jealous, and the answer has always been “no”. We love acroyoga, and we see touching and giving affection to others as a positive thing. In this situation, if jealousy were to consume us, we would be missing out on a lot of friendships and love from our acro community. So does that mean jealousy is a bad thing?
Not necessarily. As much as I dislike jealousy, being jealous is a primal instinct when we feel threatened. According to psychology today, jealousy “is a signal, a wake-up call, that a valued relationship is in danger and steps need to be taken to regain the affection of one's mate or friend. In this regard, jealousy is a necessary emotion because it preserves social bonds. It motivates people to engage in behaviors that maintain an important relationship.”
Based on my personal experience with jealousy, I would conclude that jealousy could be a good, bad or evil emotion depending on the situation. I do believe that when jealousy comes from internal insecurities, it can lead to one partner becoming possessive, obsessive, and controlling in a relationship, which is not healthy. On the other hand, if you are feeling jealous it is important to not just discard or ignore the feeling. Jealousy could also be a wake up call to help preserve social bonds. It can even help you define boundaries that can keep your relationship healthy and safe.
So in a relationship, how do you deal with jealousy? I think the most important foundation to any relationship is to build trust and confidence in each other. When there are situation that arises, it is important to talk to you partner on why you feel the way you do.
What are your thoughts about jealousy? Do you agree, disagree and why?
Karen
I was a really jealous person but one day I decided to not wasting time in such a trivial thing. If someone really loves you they won't cheat and if they cheat who cares? the worst thing that could happen is the end of the relationship and both win because they're not wasting any more time.
That's pretty awesome that you said that. I agree. That is my exact thought process. You can't control what another person does. If they do cheat, it was just meant to not work out. No need to be to sad about a broken relationship.
this is such an important topic and kind of a hot button for me.
Too often jealousy gets mistaken for love.
To me, jealousy is not love. When I do feel jealous, I realize that it is my problem and try not to make it my partners. I see jealousy as fear, insecurity, and damaging to a relationship.
I want my partner to be as free as possible, we are working together then there is no need for insecurity.
It can be difficult to have that kind of detachment. What really helps is having an atmosphere of open honest communication. When we are not afraid to share our deepest truths and experience sometimes painful revelations, that is where true security comes from.
I'm historically bad at relationships, but I do believe the above to be true.
I think it's interesting, but I am made to understand that some people actually want their partner to be at least a little jealous. Which I can understand.
I do really like what you said about how it can be a signal for you to take care of your relationship. For me, that would mean if I value the relationship then I need to be the best me I can be, not to try to alter their behavior.
It's good for us to be more connected with each other, but all too often it seems jealousy separates people rather than bringing them together.
Thanks for this awesome comment! I agree with what you said. Typically I think a lot of jealousy comes from insecurities, but there could be some cases such as crossing a boundary in a relationship that could lead to jealousy.
I've also heard that saying that if your partner is jealous it just means that they love you... which I don't agree with. I see that as controlling for the most part.
yes, I agree with you completely. the display of jealousy is typically an issue of control. personally, I am polyamorous. it's difficult for me to have this dicussion with people who are not. because most people think that monogomy justifies jealousy. to me, when people use monogomy to justify jealousy they are rigging the game to favor their control issue, which is insecurity based
This was a really poignant post for me. I have dealt with a lot of jealousy within my relationship and I absolutely agree that it can be constructive and awful. It is something I am constantly working on, and trying to get in check. It is natural human emotion but it definitely needs to be dealt with, with care and mindfulness. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! It seems like you and your partner have a beautiful bond and relationship and I encourage you to always nurture that and grow together! :)
Thank you for sharing your story! I agree working on yourself and trusting your partner can really help keep jealousy in check. :) Thank you for the kind words.
Neither good nor bad; just human!
haha I like that answer.
Was wondering a bit as that yoga thing you do is ever so slightly up-close-and-personal!;)
That's what I love most about acroyoga. It makes it normal to touch and be close to others. I feel like people often get lonely and depressed from lack of affection from others. Trust and respect for everyone in the community can really go far and make it a magical experience for everyone. :) hahah the more I hang out and acro the more hippy I'm becoming! Love love love! ❤❤❤
Jealousy is so destructive. Communication can help, but jealousy is a condition. Some of us are consumed by it and others can wave it off., but we all feel it sometime or another
great comment! thanks for the share. You summed up just perfectly.
I really really love that you wrote this <3 Thank you. I believe that jealousy is universal, but what we do with it defines who we are.
I agree. We are all in control of our emotions and how we want to handle them.
Jealousy is a killer for relationships for sure!
it sure can be.
Agree with you ! Its not good for us !!
Moderation is always the key! Too much jealousy is bad and as you said, the partner can start becoming controlling and being in a relationship should not be about someone monitoring our fb conversations and checking up on us every second to make sure were not doing anything wrong, and so on. Thanks for sharing:)
Thanks for the awesome comment. Everything in moderation is a good life rule to live by!
Awww thank you for the excellent content! Well said! Keep up the great work!😘😘
Thank you thank you!
anytime:) 😘