The Conflicting Interpretation of Flirting Between Sexes

Being the blogger that I am, I share information but walk a fine line of sharing things that are too personal. I'm also relating this to all my past experiences to protect the integrity of the women I've dated. This is another overall assessment in other words.

What is flirting exactly? Men and women seem to have a different definition and I fall victim to this dichotomy with everyone I've ever dated. I've been accused by every woman that's known me of being a flirt, including my sister. Funny thing is, when I've asked my guy friends if they think I'm a flirt, the response of "No." is accompanied by a puzzled look like,

"Someone thinks this asshole is a flirt?"

Flirting is described as a behavior used to attract people for amusement rather than serious intentions OR amorous behavior without serious intentions.

Those are two broad differences and they don't even seem like it do they? The former is paraphrased from Google and the latter from Webster's Dictionary. Guess which I trust more?

From what I understand from the women I've discussed it with, it's practicing the pursuit without engaging in the actual pickup. This would mean Google is more geared towards their perception of the word but Google changes definitions all the time to suit their political views so I rarely trust them. I also don't agree that casual conversation is considered pursuing.

Flirting to me and most men I've discussed it with is behavior to attract for amusement but that amusement being the pursuit of that person for sexual relations otherwise known as "amorous behavior". This would mean the men I've spoken to hold the Webster's definition to be true. Casual conversation is not flirting but complimenting and being touchy freely is where casual become "casual".

Why do the different genders view this with different definitions? Is it because for the most part men are the initiators? No, in reality we're not, but we think we are. Women are the ones that throw the bait, or else we wouldn't have made the move, and men move to bite the bait, so realistically the angler is the one initiating and men are the trophies. Funny how some men view their woman as their trophy isn't it?

The only viable explanation to me as to why we view it differently is jealousy. Women as a whole are very jealous beings. Jealousy being a fear of losing something, not desiring what someone has, which would be envious (I'm a grammar nazi and this a HUGE pet peeve of mine).

Why would women be so scared of their men even talking to other women? That's simple too - they don't trust us because they think we're simple minded fish biting at bait being thrown in our waters and deep down they're playing a sub-conscious game.

Women are approached daily, from the time they leave their house down to grocery shopping for supper later in the evening. Men on the other hand have to put in work socially to be approached. Our natural instincts are to try to amuse women because if they aren't amused, they're not attracted to you. Alas, lies my problem.

I enjoy amusing people but not in an amorous way. I love to make people laugh, men and women. If making a man laugh is being funny and making a woman laugh is being flirtatious, how can I make everyone laugh without being accused of flirting? I can't.

I honestly feel like when I'm told not to flirt when all of my guy friends tell me I'm not flirting, it's an accusation of breaking trust and really means on the sub-conscious level,

"Don't talk to women at all that way when I leave you I can move on before you".

Let's face it - for some sick reason, every person wants to find a new significant other before their former lover so they can make that person envious or feel some sick satisfaction of vanity that they're not over you yet.

This divide on the interpretation of the definition is something I won't budge on. It's one of the main problems I have in my relationships. The only definition that coincides with women's definition is one that's completely different from the definition in every dictionary I've had in my possession. Only the altering of the definition by Google to cover a broader landscape of behavior is the one that fits the definition that women have put forth.

Having these views, I've obviously never been very successful at maintaining a relationship for very long. I refuse to accept or believe that an altered definition should be the accepted definition. I understand women's fears though. The fear that making another laugh could lead to actual flirting but if you don't trust me to begin with then why would you date me? I've never lied about who I am but down the road who I am inevitably becomes an issue.

To be clear though, I'm no walk in the park. The promiscuity that I've engaged in has permanently scarred me as a Charlie Sheen style of man whore and despite my best efforts to show the women I date that I'm not that person anymore, I'm treated like a sex offender in a school zone. Also, from my promiscuous ways, I've come to scratch the surface of understanding women better than my male counterparts and a lot of them hate me for it.

Just like Jack Nicholson said in "As Good as it Gets"

"How do you write women so well?"

"I think of a man and take away reason and accountability."

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