Night Confessions - Diary Pages - Poem
Fucking Diary
I lost myself
I don’t know who I am anymore
I lost my faith, my hopes, and even my dreams
I’m going in circles and that scares me
Because I had a north and I got lost in the journey
I want to scream, cry and disappear
And the reason is simple; I’m tired of being screwed
I’m tired of not being able to express myself
I wish I could tell everybody fucks off
And don’t bother me anymore
I wish I could be the same kid who played with toys
I just want to be free
However, every time I try, something or someone pushes me back
It is kind of funny how once I had it all
My friends, my family, my life
I had stories to tell, moments to share
Now I look me in the mirror and I don’t recognize me anymore
The sparkles in my eyes are gone
The smile is fake
And I feel that nothing but misery in my soul
I lost my faith in me
And truly I lost my faith in god
I prayed a lot
I begged him for nothing more than hope
But every time I finally move on and I take one step forward
Somehow the entire thing I built tends to fall
I don’t want to quick but there are so many wounds to heals
And I forgot how to be strong enough to do it
I see nothing more than darkness inside and outside of me
So, it’s time to not suffer anymore
And it’s time to discover that unknown place beyond life
I hope you can forgive me about this
But I can’t handle this pain anymore
This is a battle that I finally lost.
Dear Diary
30 Days have passed since I wrote you that scary farewell letter
I can’t be more ashamed because it is impossible
I tried to kill me many times but I failed
That’s the real miracle I begged to lord
A change in me
I see everything in another point of view
And now I can feel me; I can see the sparkles in my eyes again
I can laugh, smile even I let people hug me
Because I didn’t notice before
But I was the only responsible to push away people around me
I promise myself keep trying to be free
And also breathe, feel the wind, touch the plants and live my life
Don’t give up in the worst scenario
Scream if nobody wants to hear me
Cry if I feel overwhelmed
And the most important, fall in love with myself
I figured out that’s is crucial to love myself
If I wanted to share my love with someone else
So, it’s time to not suffer anymore
It’s time to work hard, heal my wounds and be happy in this strange world
Achieve my goals, conquer my fears
I just want to discover a new me.
I can’t be more ashamed because it is impossible
I tried to kill me many times but I failed
That’s the real miracle I begged to lord
A change in me
I see everything in another point of view
And now I can feel me; I can see the sparkles in my eyes again
I can laugh, smile even I let people hug me
Because I didn’t notice before
But I was the only responsible to push away people around me
I promise myself keep trying to be free
And also breathe, feel the wind, touch the plants and live my life
Don’t give up in the worst scenario
Scream if nobody wants to hear me
Cry if I feel overwhelmed
And the most important, fall in love with myself
I figured out that’s is crucial to love myself
If I wanted to share my love with someone else
So, it’s time to not suffer anymore
It’s time to work hard, heal my wounds and be happy in this strange world
Achieve my goals, conquer my fears
I just want to discover a new me.
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://gabriellecd.vornix.blog/2018/07/18/night-confessions-diary-pages-poem/
This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.
I can relate to this..
Gabrielleee you're not alone. We shall journey this road of discovering together. :D
Yeah, is a very hard journey, but today i am excited to discover what the life is preparing for me.
Thanks for pass by, for reading, for upvoted, for everything haha i really appreciated
This is a beautiful poem.
Not to take away the hurt you've felt, but you put that despair so eloquently into words.
And, don't give up again. You are too beautiful for that.
Joe
@joe.nobel
science fiction, fantasy, erotica
Writing had become in my best way to let that pain out... is amazing how I can turn these moments into something nice. I really loved that you like it and pass by...
Thanks!