I'm NOT Feeling Good.
Lately I've been super high.
Constantly keeping my mind under control, not allowing it to have any kind of effect on my life.
All of it culminated today, I climbed a mountain disconnected barely breaking a sweat.
Super easy it was.
I guess I forgot how easy it is to control everything when you have control over your breath.
So I was breathing, breathing... all day long.
One conscious breath after another, constantly reminding myself:
Stay here, now
I am here, I believe.
It put my avatar in deep meditative state.
Pretty much I was unfuckwhittable. It felt amazing...
After getting down from the mountain, I rushed to a meetup, I don't want to explain in details.
Long story short, there were emotional triggers involved.
Some of them triggered my triggers and I guess my triggers triggered new triggers.
To sum it up, there was lot of mind action and not so much awareness
How fast did it backfire, OH MY
The mind not only started to taking trash from the past out... it was super efficient at it throwing all the most hurtful punches at myself
I tried to hold my ground, but I guess I didn't do it with perfect awareness
At certain moments I would lose it, get identified and BOOM - find myself talking shit I would never speak or think about
It was fucking bombardment from all sides - on my mind, EGO, avatar and I got really identified with them on few occasions
That resulted in me not being able to efficiently control my breath, nor myself.
No matter how hard I tried my mind would still take the W and get authority.
I guess, the message of this post is: You can't fight the mind with mind
When you try to fight mind with your mind, you'll end up being deep in a shithole you couldn't even imagine exists
Since mind is contrary from our true nature, we should really not associate ourselves with it
Whenever you do it, be ready for some real shit to hit the fan, cause mind always overly complicates everything
Considering we are pure consciousness or the bliss or supreme beings we are the weakest link a mind can have
It's just, we as a consciousness tend to play the cards in favor of the mind... considering we forgot some things and we gave it so much importance
The trick is: Don't give importance to the mind...
No matter how hard it hits, just say: Give me your best shot
You'll notice how mind instantly quiets down until the next opportunity arises...
Make sure to keep the breath going, consciously through your whole spine
Pay awareness to it. Just observe it... see it as it is but don't control or put any kind of effort in any kind of way
When the time comes, your mind will try to hit you again
It will try to get you identified with it so your whole day moves in another direction... preferably in prison of the mind, where mind has total control over your life and you can't manifest shit for yourself
When that moment comes, simply stay cool and say: Is that your best shot?
Damn, I thought you can do better
Or something along those lines. LOL
That's how I efficiently fight my mind on a daily basis, with my heart intelligence
Try it out, it will change your life.
But fuck it, I'm still kind of green when it comes to being human so I'm not perfect either...
Sometimes I get identified and do stupid shit.
Shit that hurts me afterwards... Or I just enter discussions with bad energy that hurts me afterwards
Then I come home and write a post like this.
Completely mind blowing to majority of people but fuck it
Those who are on the path will understand it and others will think: What the fuck is this guy writing about?
Anyway, those who see me just know that I see you and you are appreciated.
Thanks for the constant support and lets continue fighting our minds so we can make this world a better place.
Place where foundation is love and peace... opposed to constant drama and all kind of negativity mind can think of
We had enough of bullshit, I'd say. It's time for a paradigm change...
Time for something new, something beautiful - something real.
Love & light family
Sincerely,
This is not completely mind blowing :) Why should it? Are you on the search for mind blows?
It sounds like there's an evil demon living inside you, and you have to fight him all the time. As if your mind were an opponent. To be taken to the curb. As if you had failed if you had not gained this control.
A lot can go wrong if you keep yourself under suspicious observation. Attention as a kind of judge who, like an egocentric, always assumes that nothing should happen to you that offends or unsettles you. Where everything revolves around you and your inability to feel comfortable and relaxed, or in other words, where it's all about achieving a result where you have succeeded. Between the one extreme - I failed, I let myself be carried away by my negative impulses - and the other extreme - I float on clouds, I feel great - there is a constant pendulum movement.
To confuse this fearful self-observation with a form of spirituality is what we humans like to do. But in the long run this is much too exhausting. In a moment still eagerly striving with self-awareness, on whose foot a judgement is immediately made, can lead to exhaustion and a shit-no-action attitude.
Today cheering high in the sky and tomorrow saddened to death.
I say this because I know this state.
If you succeed in not categorizing your daily experiences in the world according to "I like" or "I don't like", whether it is with yourself or others, or with nature, you have made a leap.
Have you planned for a day not to lie? I don't mean big lies, but small, seemingly unimportant ones. It is a learning experience if you only survive one single day to refrain from such small lies. How quickly you say, "I don't have time", but in reality you don't feel like it, is obvious, isn't it?
I find that extraordinarily difficult.
An anecdote that I once heard was:
Two men sat on a mountaintop and looked from there into the world. Then one said to the other: "Look at the majesty of the mountains, the beauty of the clouds, the wonderfully green earth at our feet! Isn't that amazing?!" But the other replied: "Yes, it is so. I just wish you hadn't said anything."
I hope you're in a better place now. No matter what, if you're looking for a moment of Zen, feel free to read my latest post on kayaking
P.S. How should I picture 'bombardment from your avatar'? My 'mind' can't make any sense of that ;>)
Alright lol, I'll check it out^^
I didn't protect my body good enough against the energetic attacks... So my stomach started to hurt afterwards
As well the avatar felt drained and instantly started craving for comfort foods... And fucking headache, right where my third eye is
Posted using Partiko Android
I see ( with my first and second eye). I still don't get the avatar jargon though, haha. Is it what others would call the Ego or are you referring to your dark side? ;>)
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