Will You Wait for the Second Marshmallow?

I confess that I have become obsessed with psychoanalyzing the behavior of the members of the collectivist and individualist societies, the developed and undeveloped world. As you probably know by now that I am more of a realist. I am not living under the illusion of equality. You already have the kind of idealist perspective from the people who dominate, and I'm not here to further delude you. I'm here bring the inconvenient truth to the table and get you out of your comfort zone thinking and years of societal conditioning.

I guess a bit of traveling and mingling with others helped me understand why people behave and do what they do, and of course, that includes yours truly. I have become aware even of my own behavior. Yesterday as I was venting out my frustration to a new friend / potential contractor I met here on the island, who happened to be from my city, I realized that I was not alone dealing with the challenges of getting my startup off the ground. The difficulties I have come to face are mainly about dealing with the local people and their short-term thinking.

I was lurking in this local forum to find yet another interesting island rant, with the locals typically bashing each other. Oh well, I just treat this as my entertainment for the day. I am invisible. I was reading someone's post about restricting travelers to book tours ahead of time and instead let them follow the "book today and tour tomorrow policy", which of course does not make sense, as if everyone in this world lives moment by moment. Since my venture caters to the high-end clients who are apparently planning their travels ahead of time, this not-so-well-thought post truly caught my interest. I am rather amused. They probably cater to the backpacker type of travelers and the emerging new wave of uber cheapskates who are just coming and going and trashing. I've realized that this whole type of cheap travel is not sustainable anymore, and is doing more harm than good. Deep down, I wish for traveling to be less affordable and not for everyone again.

I was just trying to understand why the people here lack the ability to think long-term. This is just my dumb opinion of course, but back in the day, I was just as present-focused. I wasn't sure if I could really hold out for the second marshmallow. The marshmallow test, by the way, was a popular experiment about children's self-control capacity that might determine their success later in life. You don't have to agree with it of course, but in my life experiences, I'm beginning to think that the results of this study just makes sense.

If people are used to everything available to them and doing whatever they can do today, like getting coconuts or hunting animals for food, the ability to think long-term can be difficult. People from poorer countries and those from lower socioeconomic backgrounds may be quicker to eat the first marshmallow. They might not wait for the second one anymore as daily life holds fewer guarantees. There might be food today but tomorrow there might be nothing. There's always a risk when it comes to waiting. In this day and age, there are other considerations, bad people might steal the food, the government does not give a shit, and the thought of dying alone on the street. People cannot wait anymore. Since the poor tend to live for the moment due to lack of choices in life, most of them are happier despite their harsh living condition. Obsessing over the future can lead to anxiety and depression, hence, the modern societies' higher rates of suicides.

Surely, poverty is everywhere. Homelessness is also rampant in the developed nations which is more absurd. However, poverty is just different. There's the dirt-poor level (absolutely no choice in life, nothing in the social welfare pantry for a dozen kids in the family). Though not everyone, I just come to think that people from this society find it more difficult to do well in business. The realities can hinder their cognitive ability. If basic needs are not met first, it would be more difficult to think long-term or consider the other important aspects of life. That requires higher mental bandwith. Horde what you can horde today, take advantage of the money-making opportunities at this moment only. The lower class way, the sooner the better. However, this is nothing compared to the slower opportunists out there who are making profits on a massive scale. Those who have the capability to manipulate, think long-term and strategically bring harsh circumstances upon the weaker forces for the benefit of the stronger forces, hence, the colonization. This is why the developing nations are still developing, and the developed nations are getting more developed. Poor people are getting pooer and the few are getting richer. Inequality rises. I think this is why the people from each group behave and think differently.

There are those who have been educated enough to wait for the second marshmallow, those who are aware that their parents can provide no matter what, or that their government can save them if they have become unemployed. In my dumb opinion, the ability to think long term also depends on where you are from and the kind of environment where you grew up. Those who were brought up in households headed by educated parents who earn more money can easily delay gratification. I am not saying that all people from a lower socio-economic background or from poorer nations cannot delay gratification. There are those who really persevered and made it to the top, followed the whole system's preachings and all that. I myself is from a lower socio-economic background. But now as my awareness grows, I am beginning to learn how to delay gratification for a better reward. I am beginning to learn how to execute my battles. I am beginning to learn more about the ways of the world. Now, I will patiently wait for the second marshmallow.