Meaningful Title Goes Here... (Ulog No. 12)
Life has its ups and downs, that seems to be an undeniable truth... no matter who we are, or where we turn.
Similarly, it's also an undeniable truth that it is possible to roll a fair die ten times and come up with "1" showing, every single time.
By extension, it's also possible for someone to roll an endless series of ones in their life — no matter how well-intentioned or hard-working they might be.
That's how life unfolds, sometimes.
Peace...
And it unfolds in such a way, regardless of whether we think it's "fair," or "unfair," or "karma," or "poetic justice" or whatever else you want to call it. Those are just labels.
Life happens.
I just learned that my cousin — who was also my childhood and young adult friend — died.
But that's not all... I just learned that she died in September 2017 and nobody else in the family knew about it, till just now. Maybe that sounds a little weird, but it was just another one of the long strings on "ones" Lise seemed to roll, in her life.
Now, granted, she still lived In Denmark and I live in the US... and we stopped emailing directly when her macular degeneration (another one of her "ones") progressed to the point where she could no longer see even the largest text on the screen.
We had an "odd" sort of connection, going back all the way to when we were wee ones. We wouldn't necessarily be in touch very often, but even with 2-3 year "breaks" now and then, we would often pick up threads of conversation and thoughts like we'd just spoken, a couple of hours earlier.
That's a rare gift, and I will always be grateful for that.
Last time we connected, she was quietly telling me about the possibility of taking a trip to Switzerland, to Dignitas. That said, as of right now, nobody as any idea how she actually died. She was unmarried, parents dead, no close-by family, estranged from her sister; her only son removed by the state after she was declared an "unfit mother," shortly after he was born.
I'm not going to eulogize my cousin here, for it is not the place. Or the time. Or the right thing.
Suffice it to say that she was one of the world's "square pegs," and somehow she was never able to find anything but "round holes." And not because she was somehow "insane," or "abrasively militant," she was quite soft spoken, extremely intelligent and deeply compassionate and sensitive.
She described her experience of life as "someone washing a newborn baby with coarse sandpaper."
Seems I was the only person she know who both understood and honored that analogy.
Some people are just too fragile and tender for this world.
She was 54 years old...
Comments, thoughts and feedback always welcome... and invited! I do like interaction and engagement.
(As always, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Created at 181112 14:51 PDT
Sorry for you loss my friend. She ( her Life) sounded like one of those rare instances where someone of high quality somehow and someway fell through the crack so to speak. She had all the ingredients of a person who would be in a satisfying marriage with a family and lots of friends and communicating with all of them on a regular basis. And be your typical Mom with everything in the World to live for and sucking the "marrow" out of Life each and everyday.
Here's to her memory for a Life that ended way too soon !!
My condolances. I so relate to the whole disjointed family thing. I didnt even know my own daughter had a son until he was almost two. I guess that's the price you pay for having an opinion. I'm ok with being the black sheep in the family. Time, distance, words spoken in wrath, all are reasons/excuses, but indeed life keeps happening until it doesn't.
I don't have much any more except faith and the love of my step-daughter. She is the only family I know and a fierce warrior on my side. Soon I'll be leaving this planet and I suppose my own blood will not know about my departure unless my step kid decides to tell them. So the ball bounces, the grass grows, a new dawn awaits. Thos whole life thing is just wierd. Blessed be.
Thanks, and I understand totally where you are coming from.
I'm not merely a "black sheep," but my parents are dead, I have no siblings, I have no natural born children; when I go... my family will essentially "vanish from the map." The cousins I am talking about here are several times removed.
Now, I happen to be married and have three great stepchildren who do care and will remember... but I hardly created any "monuments" to life that will stand anywhere in the greater world.
I think it is often the more intelligent and sensitive among us who have the most problems fitting into this insane and heartless world of ours.
I would tend to agree with that... if you don't fit into the majority paradigm, life will probably be difficult for you. Sad, but true.
nobody found her until then? or that is when family had been notified?
i'm sorry for your loss ✌
Thank you.
It's a little mysterious for us all. We only found out because my cousin in the UK somehow found herself in touch with Lise's fairly autistic "man friend" recently who declared "Oh, she died last September," like he was saying "the milk has gone sour."
So one of the Danish cousins she was estranged from went to where her apartment was, and the apartment manager confirmed that she passed away September 11th, 2017 but was "not at liberty" to say any more.
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I'm truly saddened for you, @denmarkguy. Kindred spirits are a rare thing and to know there is one less in the world... I can imagine it's a kick in the gut. What a beautiful reflection though, thank you for sharing. As I think we've mentioned on these comment threads before, you're never truly gone until no one remembers you anymore. I'm glad you shared some of your memories of her with us.
That remark from the apartment manager certainly implies that she took her own life. I am so sorry for you and for her. Even though it happened a year ago, it's still fresh and new for you -- with this discovery.
I learned my mother was dead through an internet search. My brother found out our father had died by getting in touch with my sister after not being able to get hold of him for a month. In a kind of grating, bright-and-breezy way she has of talking when she's caught in a tight spot (usually a lie) she said our father had died a month earlier than that. My brother had his wife email me with the news. Obviously I know a thing or two about fractured families.
My heart goes out to you. Whatever else you learn from here probably won't be much comfort.