I Really Needed To Get That Parathyroidectomy This Coming Year

This Pain Needs To Stop

In the back of my mind I still feel and worry. I do worry in a lot of things particularly about my final demise if I would not be able to reach my medical goal particularly about my Parathyroid, it had to get a surgical intervention otherwise I will not be able to get better even though I am taking medicine which is not helping totally because I am still in a lot of pain where a mere sitting up is excruciating which is why I could not sit for long in a normal manner so I just have to lay down to give the pinching pressure in my backbone a rest and ease.

I've been waiting for that surgery to happen and I am the only one in my family wants me to get it. In fact my mother is opposed to such medical procedure because I do think she doesn't believe that I can make it or doesn't really know the value of Parathyroidectomy for my well-being and they kind of given-up before even trying which is why I have to be stronger and be more strong-willed about this goal of mine which would direct my life in a more better way.

It is a mixed feeling for me now that I can still see some possibility of a surgery but I am very fearful if the doctor would say no or if it is not feasible for me to get a Parathyroidectomy then my world would collapse if that were to be the case because it would mean that I will not get better but instead go down in a slow downward spiral of slow lingering painful way to death. It is a true possibility which I hope that God would intervene because no one deserves to live like this even the cruelest of criminals because of the nature of my health condition.

I Am Willing To Go Under The Knife Because It Is Worth The Risk

I do not know why I have lived long being like this for an extended period of time. It has been 18 years already and today I am already exactly had been fighting for that long years being a dialysis patient because I have started my dialysis on December 1st 2001 and it is already 2020 and I am still here. I do not know if I would celebrate or regard that as an achievement because it is really is not a good life being in this situation and it is ridiculous to celebrate being like this.

All just a wretched and hideous appearance, pain, even my expenses are just a mere prodigal thing for me to do because I am not getting cured and it is just a sad fact which is also why I am worried in the moment that I can no longer earn to sustain my medicines since nobody around my family is helping me substantially to give me some ease about my expenses.

I will just trust God for what plans he has in stored for me since I had a miracle already in my life that I am enjoying right now so I just have to pray for another one since it is not a bad thing that I am wishing for, a life free of pain and worries. It would be like a heaven on earth for me. May God help me.

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