I Am Always Surprised Why My Body Is Holding-up Despite My Serious Health Condition

I had been suffering a whole lot ever since months and years before I had my very first dialysis. At first it was just weakness and then edema, then insomnia. I suffered insomnia for so many years and I had made a lot of effort about it not to put me down and destroy me unlike other patients where thye just had succumbed from it affecting their brains.

I also had the restless legs syndrome (RLS) and I thank myself from having to resolve it myself with the use of Gabapentin which cured it a few minutes after I took one big pill.

Then of course being waterlogged most of the time especially nowadays where I just have less capacity to load water in my system due to my crooked backbone which is squeezing my internal organs. My only prayer is for my backbone to stop collapsing even more.

I also had the hyperphosphataemia where too much phisphirus really had made my body very itchy until I had found out that colas are the culprit although I never knew that some other foods are also high in phosphates than I am eating and also not knowing that I have to use phosphate binders too.

Now I am suffering from hyperparathyroidism because of my chronic high elevations of phosphorus in my body over the years. The changes in my body are irreversible now but at least I am able to medicate it thanks be to God and my friends in the background here at steem community.

All in all it is just hell of a life that I had been through, it affected me in many aspects of my life and I wasn't able to marry and also nurture my friends that shied away one by one but not all.

Most of my co-patients didn't live as long as I did and I thank God that they didn't suffer much as I am experiencing right now. It is good for a dialysis patient to die faster and sooner if they have no plans of Kidney transplant especially if they are young just to avoid like the issues now that is happening to me.

With all the bad health experiences that I had before and now I am still surprised why I can hold up. Maybe some force is doing that for me, it is unusual, most possibly a divine force which leads me to believe that I am doing a mission in this lifetime.

Whatever mission those are it doesn't mean that it is easy and obviously it is hard both physically and financially. I am also surprised that I can still blog despite on what I feel inside me especially now that the awful side-effects of my Cincalcet is making my life a bit of hell too despite that it takes away my body pains.

I do not know when I would capitulate but I am trying to improve my health with the mercy of God before my body gives way. I still wanted to experience life without any of what I am feeling with my body right now. It is still nice to live but only without much health troubles. May God help me.