Someday's... You Just Need a Hug

I have worked hard at building my resilience to stress and most of the time and I can notice stress creeping up, and gently – yet firmly – ask it to leave. There are some days though when everything just seems to come crashing over me like a wave and I’m powerless to stop it. There’s no time to pull out all the tools I’ve acquired over the years to guard against such waives.

My weapons of choice are usually breathing exercises, practicing gratefulness, and journaling. When I say journaling, it’s in a pretty raw form where I just let my hand write what my heart says without any filter or judgement. I often do this when I’m not really sure what’s the underlying cause of my stress or unhappiness. By allowing a completely free flow writing session – I often find the answer right there on the paper.

Lately I’ve been having a hard time “keeping up” with everything I’m supposed to do as a responsible adult moving through the world. I just have so many other things I want to do with my time besides cleaning my house, paying bills, calling the dentist office, evaluating my investment portfolio, etc. I’d rather be playing music, cooking a good meal, reading, practicing dance, and yes spending more time interacting on Steemit.

Yesterday, I realized that my passport is expired and I have a vacation in Canada planned for NEXT weekend. Even paying for an expedited passport can take 2-3 weeks and getting an enhanced drivers licenses takes three weeks. The only option was to call the Seattle Passport office, plead for an appointment and take a day off work to drive down there and meet with them in person. To do this, you have to show proof of travel and supposedly, they will get you a passport within a week.

My lack of preparedness (I’m usually a pretty organized person) felt really frustrating. If only I had noticed this a few weeks ago, it would have been an easy process of mailing in my passport and all this stress could have been avoided.

Luckily, I was able to get an appointment for tomorrow and my boss let me have the day off work to take care of this. In the midst of feeling frustrated with my situation, my anxiety about driving in big cities and my fear that it wouldn’t work and we’d have to skip our vacation came up as well. We don’t go on vacations very often these days, and this trip was planned to celebrate our 6 year anniversary. I realize this may sound like a first world problem, but sometimes we can’t control where our breaking points will land.

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Even though all the details have been set and I have a game plan to get everything taken care of… I really just needed a hug and a good cry. Do you ever have those days? Even if there’s no reason to cry anymore… the buildup of stress starts to topple out and I just need the release of letting it out. I am so lucky to have @raised2b in my life. When I need to have a good cry – he is great at creating a supportive space for me where I can let out all of my fears and anxieties without judgement.

There is something beautiful about letting go and letting yourself have a breakdown.

There is something beautiful and selfless about creating that space for someone, and I realize that it takes quite a bit of energy and work from the other person to hold that space without allowing their own judgement and thoughts to interfere. It has really inspired me to learn how to do that for others. He doesn’t seem to breakdown and need that space nearly as much as I do… so I guess he gets a little more practice than I do. :)

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Allowing yourself to ask for a hug can be pretty powerful. Just saying, “I’m not looking to talk, or get advice… I just need to be held right now” can create a beautiful, bonding moment for both people. If you are starting to feel overwhelmed by things in your life, I’d encourage you to just yourself permission to have a good cry… maybe journal about what you are feeling, and if you are feeling really brave – maybe ask for a hug.

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