That Space Between

in #freewrite6 years ago


      He found her standing alone and trembling on the porch. Her back was stiffer than a broom handle and her arms were crossed tight to her chest as she chewed on her right thumbnail. She's such a liar. Insisting to her sisters that she's fine. There goes that fancy manicure.

      With a soft, "Hey", he held out the cold beer. His offering hung, unaccepted, for a moment before she growled and snatched it out of his hands. You're welcome, he thought dryly as she took a long pull from the bottle.

      After a hard swallow she paused, then hissed, "Why do they have to do this every single time?" Her brown eyes peered past him to the window and the family gathering inside. "Don't they have anything better to do than carry on with that stupid, childish game?"

      Fiddling with the neck of his own bottle, he tilted his head towards hers. "You could have joined in. All of us were teasing each other." She rolled her eyes and turned back to looking at the road. "Vic even laughed when I brought up the inflatable sheep! Remember the message he left when it was delivered to his office?"

      A chirp eeped from her and she turned with a smirk. "Best Valentine's gift he's ever received!" She winked at him, closed her eyes and then huffed out a tiny, "Thank you."

      "You're welcome." He thought for a moment then, because it had been a long day and one could never tell with her, asked, "For what?"

      Head down, toe tracing the worn edge of the wooden planks she shrugged. "For coming out here. For finding me when everyone else is in there having fun." With one hand gripping the railing, she looked up at the emerging stars of the night. "It's just...", she paused, "that game! Ever since we were kids I've HATED it and they know that but they just love to do it anyway!"

      An idea snaked through his mind. He really shouldn't but, the broom handle was back and he could see her thumb raising up again. Oh well, he'd blame it on his beer later.

      Inching closer and forcing his lips not to smile, he said gently, "See those stars? They're shining together but millions of miles apart. That solitude must be lonely." He sidled closer. "Think of our bodies, of the very things that we're made of. There's a vacuum between every atom. No matter how close we will ever try to be, there will always be that tiny space between us."

      She stared at him, blinking rounded eyes. "That's beautiful! But..what's your point?"

      Aching cheeks unable to fight of his grin any longer, he reached out his hand to touch her forehead with his pointer finger. "That I'm not touching you!"


I should put a quarter in a jar for each time I ignore the 5 minutes. 😂

Thank you @omra-sky for my beautiful Squirrple Necklace separator!

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For the 5 Minute Freewrite Prompt - solitude by @mariannewest.
Thank you Marianne!

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The details and the care in describing the characters and their feelings are phenomenal @brisby.. it's like a book and the ending joke is what it was needed to the story for a smile after all that poetry.. tip!

Grazie, F3nix for the compliments and the tip ! (When I read your comment about poetry I had to go back through and reread the story! Poetry?
Where was this? LOL) I am happy that I was able to give you laugh though!😀

I saw poetry in it.. for me poetry is not just "big unclear words" but also the intimate moment between a lonely upset woman and a man that tries to cheer her up.. 😉

stop touching me!

I so love this story and love when you find time to write. hugs

Thank you! Hugs back!

I like your descriptions. Good job.

Thank you! I'm glad that you liked the story!

A touching tale.

It's me again with your Wednesday free write prompt:
https://busy.org/@marillaanne/a-unique-solitude-a-five-minute-freewrite

Pfffffff 😂 Nice one! Thank you Deirdyweirdy!

Every little detail was described so perfectly and I loved the story; especially the ending. Tip!

Thank you for the love and the tip Whatisnew! You're so sweet! I'm not sure why the I'm not touching you game came to my mind. I hope you had some great laughs today!

Hi @brisby! You have received 0.1 SBD tip + 0.01 SBD @tipU from @whatisnew :)

@whatisnew wrote lately about: Day 129: 5 Minute Freewrite: Sunday-Prompt: Fingernail Feel free to follow @whatisnew if you like it :)

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Hi @brisby! You have received 0.1 SBD tip from @f3nix!

@f3nix wrote lately about: Sogno Lucido - Lucid Dream [Ita/Eng] Feel free to follow @f3nix if you like it :)

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