BEASTLY TALES

THE TAXIDERMIST

Oliver Otterbottom was a taxidermist true,
He worked at taxidermy with a small crew.
Preparing and mounting animal bodies with a lifelike effect,
People’s pets and many others, he’d never reject.
A most fitting memento for a loyal pet,
A reminder and tribute, the best one could get.
Otterbottom was a master of his trade.
Everyone would check taxidermy specimens to ensure Otterbottom made.
His motley crew, numbering just a few,
Were learning from the master, nought else would do.
These intricacies of actual preparation,
The life-like effect an absolute sensation.
A bull eating grass, with eyes of glass,
Realism superb, indeed. Only high class.
Never a weed, how realistic can one get?
Coat brushed to a shine, near perfect, and yet,
Something seemed to be missing, not big.
A plump porcupine, so very porcine, or pig.
That is to say pig-like today, or any other.
Perhaps with little piglets, all around their mother.

Now Otterbottom was getting on in years,
Thick silver hair defied any Otterbottom fears,
But, being a realist, arrangements just had to be made.
About how, and where, a dead Otterbottom would be laid.
“I’m not attracted to conventional means,”
“Being buried or cremated are most stale beans.”
“Cryogenics might be of interest, but I hate the cold!”
“And I don’t want to be frozen stiff when I’m old.”
“The thought of lying alone in a crypt,”
“Gives me the jitters,” Otterbottom quipped.
So he gathered his helpers and said, from the heart,
“I want you all, specific preparations to start,”
“Indeed, preparations to practice your taxidermy skills.”
“On my cadaver, when I finally succumb to my ills.”

“I want you to work so very hard,”
“In maintaining my body shape without any lard,”
“Yes, to keep my figure taut and trim,”
“The sparkle in my eyes far from dim,”
“My hair must exude a resplendent sheen,”
“Any dullness is out, not to be even seen,”
“And when you at last finish your work,”
“My body must in a glass display case lurk,”
“Spotlighted for one and all to admire,”
“Glittering and glowing with resilient fire!”
“The result of your fine work will gain much renown,”
“There will be only smiles of joy, never a frown!”
“A thumbs up to all of us, the business too.”
“So, when the time comes, we’ll be relying on you.”
As though most eager to achieve this immortality
Otterbottom snuffed it in time for tea.

His motley crew began work the very next day.
Details as to procedure are not all gay.
So we’ll exclude these as of no note,
And only on the finished product we’ll dote.
There it was, in resplendent glory,
The culmination of this story,
Otterbottom standing proud,
With neither cape nor white shroud,
Just as Mother Nature intended,
No frills at all just bare topped and bare ended!
Standing tall, motionless, full of grace,
In his spectacular glass display case!