No more mommy's milk | Bye bye breastfeeding...
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Breastfeeding versus formula
When my oldest daughter was born, I actually had doubts if I would try breastfeeding or give formula to her. When her father and my best friend back then were both very clear I should not even try breastfeeding, I just went along with their opinion. And then this cute little baby was born, I started to doubt my decision. The second day after the birth, I was alone with the nurse and I told her my doubts about not trying to breastfeed her. She was very supportive and told me it wasn't too late to try. And so I started pumping my milk, and the first attempt of her drinking from me went so well, the nurse said she was a natural. I must admit that I found it hard to find the perfect angle to hold her, and I got a bit nervous when it didn't went that smooth the next attempts. Luckily I asked the nurse to take a few pictures of that special moment when she was drinking breast milk. Those two pictures are very special to me, because they would eventually be the only two I'd have from those moments.
When the father arrived he stressed me out
He was not supportive at all, and because of his attitude things didn't work out at all. He kept repeating the child is hungry give her a bottle! And at 8pm I finally gave in, and told the nurse I would go back to formula. She clearly saw what the reason was, and told me I could not go back when I was giving up now. I agreed. If the father would have been absent the rest of those hours, I would most likely succeeded in breastfeeding, because the nurse was super calm and supportive. Unfortunately I was weak and gave in. So from that moment on my oldest was fed by the bottle. Which is fine too, don't get me wrong. But I have felt regret for months in a row after that, that I was so weak to give in to his demands of stopping the attempt. My oldest grew well though, and she slept through the night since she reached the age of only 10 days!
The regrets came with powerful thoughts too
When I was pregnant with my son, I decided this was not going to happen again. Nothing was going to stop me from at least trying to breastfeed him after he was born. And I decided to not give a damn about the fathers opinion this time, and I would take my time with him if it would not be going smoothly. We could do this, I was convinced and determined to let it succeed. And so I did, we were one hell of a team, and from day one my baby boy was getting breastfed. When we arrived home, I didn't listen to the father anymore whenever there were visitors and my son needed to drink. Their loss, he got breastfed on demand, so if he was hungry I fed him, even if he had invited his family over. They could wait, or come back. I never regret this decision, and our bond was very strong.
I ended up feeding him until he was about 18 months old
And he slowly started drinking less without me interfering in his schedule, everything went automatically. When my youngest daughter was born, I was lucky that I now had a supportive boyfriend, that would stand by my decision no matter if I chose formula or breastfeeding. I chose to breastfeed her, and this time I was quite confident to get things started myself. Although I was in a lot more pain with my third cesarean due to scar tissue, I took the time to practice with her. Of course nurses walked in and out, but I didn't really cared much what they said, I would take my time and didn't need their help this time to find the good angle to hold her. And I was right, after a few hours she was drinking like a champ. I was quite proud of us that we did manage to get things started ourselves.
I was happy that I had these precious moments with her
Because the first period in her life wasn't that glorious, at least not for us. We went through hell and back because of everything that was done to us in Holland, and the breastfeeding was my way of protecting her from the big bad outside world and people. So when we left to Spain, I kept feeding her myself, and she took a bit more time to start eating fruit compared to her older brother and sister. She was very fond of my milk, and had little interest in other foods, although I did keep trying to make her enthusiastic. From the time that I breastfed her, I have maybe hundreds of precious memories captured.
But she liked mommy's milk a bit too much
And when she turned two I was actually pretty done with it to be honest, now of course at that age she also ate other things, so it was only in the morning and evening. But it bothered me that every morning when she woke up she still needed to claim me (it felt like that by then) for a long morning drink.. So I tried to make her more enthusiastic by not giving in and making her bread in the morning as soon as she woke up instead of waiting a bit (because she drank my milk). This worked, luckily.. so I had my mornings to myself for at least an hour or sometimes if I was lucky two. But I couldn't convince her to stop drinking before her nap and when she went to bed at night. It was stressing me out by now, as I really didn't feel comfortable anymore. Her brother and sister were going to bed a lot earlier and never had problems with going to sleep without me at that age. I felt it was time to cut the ties...
A few days ago I told her this would be the last time
Because I noticed it was more to do about the moment than actually drinking, I found it time to stay put and not give in anymore. I told her in the afternoon this was the last time, and I was a bit anxious about the hassle that would come that night. I made her some milk with honey instead, but she didn't drink much of it. She made a bit of a fuzz, and didn't accept me not staying with her, but I was surprised after about 30 minutes she finally turned around and fell a sleep in a heartbeat. Victory! Lol. The next morning I praised her for doing it that well, and she woke up very happy actually. I was so proud of her, and so happy for myself too, to be honest... When she took a nap, things went a bit less smooth, she tried to start demanding first, but after an hour she gave in.. And the next three moments after that it went more smooth every time. Now we need to work on the fact that she really doesn't need any of us to go to sleep, but I don't believe it's a good approach to take everything from her at once, so let's take it one step at the time. I am so happy we finally reached this moment..
Many precious moments to cherish, but everything comes to an end.. and this chapter has now been closed.. You will grow up just fine without my milk, sweetheart!
I love it!!! I love how you fought for what you think is right despite what other people might say. I admire your courage to stand up especially to the unsupportive father, it takes a lot of guts from you.. you rock momma!
Fortunately for me, I have a supporting DH. I was able to survive one year of full breastfeeding with my youngest. I thought i could not make it through because we were not that successful with my first born.
True enough, the BF advocacy are taken from support group! We cannot go on this journey alone. You are not alone!
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Thank you, it was not the easiest thing standing up to my ex back then.. But luckily I didn't let him get me off guard regarding to this part when my son was born..
I feel like everyone should do what makes them feel comfortable, but I must admit while I thought breastfeeding would not be the thing for me, I loved it. So some mommys may be surprised when they just try it.. it gives you such precious memories.. Looking at that satisfied little baby head that fell a sleep so peacefully on the breast.. nothing beats that I guess :)
You did great too there, support is so important when it comes to this ;)
Oh yes!! The mother and son connection always tops it all. The best feeling in the world.. and its our achievement that we give what is best for our children. I mean no offense to formula, FED IS ALWAYS BEST.
But BFing is really hard work. Its seem easy because you just have to give your boobie to them. What they dont realize are our efforts to maintain the supply, to keep our body healthy, to tolerate nipple grab or nipple bites and the likes! It is never easy. But we all endure it. Anything for them..
This comment was made from https://ulogs.org
YES congrats on the BFMS breastfeedingmilestone! Always walk your own path. With the first the father I think didnt know what he was talking about meant well maybe but mums now best dont we #steemitmamas !!
Ik had two pre mature babies so I had to try. They needed me and My milk. Fed the first for 9 months from which 5 months Being pregnant with number two and they are fine. Your body rocks even When bf doesnt work out, as I told @crosheille good formula is good too.
Love is most important ! AND PLEASE BABIES DONT GROW UP SO FAST
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Great job mommy!! I switched from breastfeeding my daughter at that age to putting her in my lap and reading her bedtime stories. It worked great. Every night she would pick out her storybook, jump on my lap and snuggle up to me while I was reading to her. She would be sound asleep before the story was done. I think it is mostly the closeness they crave, especially at night.
Thanks, and that's actually what I am doing now too, we go to bed, daddy has to join now too lol.. and then read stories.. and at a certain point she just falls in sleep holding on of us.. So sweet, holding our face cuddling and then she drifts off to sleep <3
Aww that is so sweet! She feels safe and loved.
I always say that mother's really just have to follow their gut and their heart to know what's right! Good for you :)
When my first was a wee baby, he was up during the night for what felt like a million times to breastfeed. My mother-in-law insisted I should let him cry himself back to sleep, that there was no way he was hungry. So Being a new mom I went against my better judgement and tried it, but the whole time the poor little guy was crying, my dog kept bugging me, knocking my arm, hitting her head against me. I of course ignored the poor dog now too, thinking that she wanted food or something but she suddenly went to my son's room, knocked open the door and went and lied down under his crib. She was trying to tell me that the baby's crying mom, can't you hear her!!! I figured I'd go with my dog's instinct and my own instead of the mother-in-laws from that point on!!
Oh man that sounds so familiar @lynncoyl1 .. I hate reading this, but I recognize it exactly. Your dog felt it right.. I had a cat with my first born, and as soon as my daughter cried, and the cat heard here she came to me pushing her head against me and meowing saying, hurry up you hear her right? haha..
But at the same time while my oldest was such an easy baby (slept through the night after 10 days) and woke up herself, just looking around smiling in her crib without crying if I wasn't there right away.. my son was a bit different. And because my daughter indeed fell a sleep after a few minutes of crying when she was tired, my ex told me: let him cry it worked for her too.. babies need to cry themselves to sleep!
And my mother instinct told me this is different he is in pain. He cried as soon as I put him down, so I knew that he had a problem called reflux (not sure if the english word is the same..) I went to a check up told the doctor what I had noticed and he looked at me saying: "I don't need to tell you what's the problem, right? You already know that" So I said yeah I think it's reflux.. and he confirmed.. my son got medication and in a few days he was doing so much better..
I carried him around almost all day because then he would not have any pain, and he would only fall asleep lying down when he was drinking my milk. But I hate how my ex and his mother kept saying let him cry.. That was the moment I also decided that he would not be going there to have sleepovers, and stay with me.. because I would not feel comfortable at all when I knew they'd let him cry :(
Animals have a good sense of these things your dog is a good example :) Good that you decided to listen to your mommy instincts !
People against breastfeeding astound me. A simple look at the survival of humans throughout the ages since the first human was formed (or created, depending on you ur beliefs) proves that breastfeeding is the best method, inabilities by some taken into account of course. Cheers.
Well first of all :) let's make something clear.. my ex doesn't really fit the category "people" he's more like a monster / serpent whatever you may want to call it.. he is pure evil.. every cell in his body is evil.. so of course it doesn't surprise me a bit thinking back why he was so anti-breastfeeding.. because that would actually make her more attached to me. And that was the opposite of what he was trying to accomplish. But I did not know that back then, I still believed in fairy tales ;) Of course bf is the best you can give, but I don't have problems with people not trying, I leave everyone be. I am glad I have done it though..
Yeaaahhhhh even though we all know breastmilk is THE bomb, indeed at a point it is time to stop and have a piece of your life back hahahaha.
Good going getting this done without a fuss
Yeah, I did not expect it to go this smooth.. she did decide to cut the nap now since 2 days though. Which is pretty exhausting at the end of the afternoon, as she gets tired but doesn't want to admit that.. But yesterday I got her to bed some hours earlier than normally. So if that means her bedtime will be a few hours earlier than normally (she really lives up to the Spanish and Hungarian bedtimes for children meaning not anything like the Dutch ones haha) then I will manage to get used to it. :)
While formula can keep a child alive, it is not able to provide many of the important immune system protections as can breastmilk. Your oldest was fortunate indeed that you did breastfeed a little initially, as the colustrum contains antibodies and more that infants need to protect them from disease as their immune systems are not developed.
Good Job!
Yeah I know it's true, and I must say she was a strong baby from the start.. her weight was 4200 grams :) so she was able to even hold her head up from when she was born, which was quite remarkable.. her brother and sister were both smaller though.. and babies grow up anyway, with or without breastmilk, but if you are able to give it I think it's best to at least do that for a few months.. if everything works fine that is.. because not everyone is that fortunate.. I am happy I could give them that :)
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