20 years of disillusion

Andrea Richard entered the house of the nuns at the age of 16, hoping to help the poor. The Catholic Church has instead turned her into an obedient and ignorant girl. After twenty years of disillusionment, she left the veil to reclaim her life. Today, the one who called herself sister Xavier-Marie-de-la-Trinité became an ardent defender of secularism.

Her accomplished novitiate, Sister Xavier pronounced her vows of chastity, obedience and poverty to officially enter the Little Sisters of the Poor in 1955. Her order sent her to a convent in Paris, France.

Her task was to accompany the nun responsible for the quest. Every morning, they traveled in trolley light City to beg the merchants of fruits and vegetables. Then, they went to the well-to-do colleges to collect the remainders of the south, destined to prepare the supper of the destitute ones.

Despite the rigidity of her daily life, Sister Xavier did not question her faith. "I loved this illusory world where we lost ourselves. We talked with the idea that we were the wives of the Lord and that we helped the poor. "

A tragedy came to shake his belief, five years later. "Sister Adrienne, whom I was close to, was secretly in love with the priest who came to confess us. When the mother got wind of the relationship, she threatened to send her to another country. Totally upset, Adrienne took her life a few days later in front of Andrea. The mother superior forbade her to talk about it.

Doubt sprouted in his mind. If religion taught love and mutual help, why so much opacity? The months passed and all brought back to this horrible memory. Sister Xavier thought that a more contemplative and prayerful life would help her regain her peace of mind. She asked for her transfer to another religious order.

In the Carmelites

In the Carmelites, during the 1970s.

In 1963, Sister Xavier entered the convent of Notre-Dame-du-Carmel, in Rouen. Cut off from the outside world, she devoted her days to prayer and the study of religious texts. Besides, she slept on a bench, washed herself in cold water, fasted and whipped twice a week. When her family came to visit her, it was behind the screened window of the cloister.

This austere lifestyle was the reason for his health. Four years later, she suffered a severe tuberculosis that led her to the hospital. Her family then intervened to repatriate her. During her convalescence in the sanatorium, she began to read books on the history of religions, banned at the convent. "I realized that I was not happy and that my life was all about illusions. "

Back on her feet, she returned to community, this time to Dolbeau. Each new day reinforced a little more his revolt against the "absurd" rules of the Church. "One day, I confided to the chaplain my intention to leave the religious life. He told me that I did not have to be treated like an obedient little girl. He interceded with the bishop so that I could get out of the orders. In 1974, Sister Xavier became Andrea again. She was 40 years old.

Back to secular life

The woman grasped the magnitude of what she had sacrificed. "While I was washing old men, my sister and brother went to university and took advantage of life. I had only my eleventh year and I was complexed. In this sense, religion stole my youth. "

Nevertheless, his faith was none the less intact. She founded a lay association advocating a "positive" vision of spirituality. The lectures she gave him helped her to provide for several years.

His life took a new turn in 1985 when a bishop came to one of his conferences to make sure that he respected the doctrine of the Church. "We quickly became friends and then in love. Now it was a forbidden love, Catholic priests having no right to marry. The couple had planned to emigrate to the United States to become Protestant and live together. "Unfortunately, he became seriously ill with cancer and died. "

This drama has dealt a heavy blow to his religious convictions. In the months and years that followed, her faith gradually faded. "I no longer believed in a god and I no longer saw any reason to be a member of a church that sought to shape my way of living or thinking. I asked that my name be removed from the list of Catholics. I was finally free! "Says one who describes himself as agnostic.

freed

In 1995, Andrea published Femme après le cloister , an autobiographical account that tells her story and reveals her forbidden connection. That same year, she met Gilles Vallée, with whom she married three years later. "He is a very cultured man who helped me a lot in my journey. And just like me, he is not a believer. "

Andréa Richard did not have children, which she regrets.

Since then, the one who lives today in Trois-Rivières has been committed to the separation of religion and the state, in addition to actively campaigning for religions to be taught at school from a historical perspective. "My great disappointment at the end of life is to see a strong return of religious discourse in society. We must keep the critical spirit and have the courage to denounce. Religions are built on lies. Yet it is the truth that makes you free. "

That said, the lady does not regret the good she could bring by helping the poor. "I do not want either the nuns and priests I have been around, because they gave everything for a cause they believed was right," she said.