Sounds like you are suffering from a form of social anxiety. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness. Happy you are holding your space to allow yourself to rest. This is also something I've worked on over the last year. I feel much stronger in my ability to self sooth.
Yes! I am aware that the mental committee chatter that I have to fight thru to think clearly is a form of social anxiety. Awareness helps quiet the beast as well as not denying it...so I'm trying. Glad you feel that you have made progress in self soothing too.