Writing Prompts Challenge Entry #1

 The day my coffee maker broke …  

… into the bank. I was sitting at my house just pondering how I was going to be able to take care of my bills. I was at a loss, job was just paying enough to keep somethings going. Well, as I was sitting there my mind began to fog, and I was struggling to keep track of my thoughts, I started to crave a cup of coffee. Well, I walked into the kitchen to my surprise I could not find my Smart Coffee Maker. I started looking everywhere the cupboards, the shelves, the pantry. Well, knowing my wife hates the coffee maker when I leave it out I started looking in the bedrooms and the closets, thinking she was playing a trick on me. Well, I found my lost socks they disappeared when they went to the laundry, they were hiding under the bed. My comb was under the dresser, and many other lost items came up, but no coffee maker. Well, I went back to the kitchen to call my wife to see if she would remember the coffee maker.

My wife said “No, I have not moved it, when I left the house this morning it was on the kitchen counter.”

I replied, “It is not there that is why I was calling to ask.” So I hung up and went to sit on the couch. I was so mad that I could not find the coffee maker when I remember that McDonald’s was on the corner and has ok coffee when I’m in a rush.

I put on my shoes and decided it was not safe to drive before my coffee, so I went for a walk hoping it would clear my mind. I got to McDonald’s and bought the large coffee hoping I could remember where I left my coffee maker when I got home.

On the walk home I remembered I had one in the camping gear that I could pull out if the Smart Coffee Maker was still hiding. As I walked in the door the phone was ringing, I ran to grab the phone hoping my wife remembered what happened to the coffee maker.

I said, “Hello!”

The voice on the other end of the phone said, “I’m looking for Mr. Coffee!”

I said, “That’s me, how can I help you?”

They asked, “Do you own a Smart Coffee Maker?”

I said, “Yes I do, but I have no clue where it is at the moment!”

They said, “Do you mind coming down to the police station?”

I asked, “Why?”

They said, “Please just come down, or we can escort you to the station!”

I said, “How does it have anything to do with me!”

“We need to ask you a few questions related to your coffee maker!”

I said, “Ok, I will drive over in a couple minutes!”

Now feeling nervous and scared, I stopped by Starbucks to buy another coffee, on the way to the police station.

By the time I got to the police station, I was so nerve racked that I had no clue what to expect. Well, I walked in and said why I was there and the officer escorted me back to one of the rooms. And told me to wait.

I waited for some time wondering what was going on. Then finally someone walked into the room and said, “I am Detective Smith, and do you know the reason we asked you to come in here today?”

I said, “No officer, I have no clue what is going on right now!”

The detective then asked me to come with him. I walked over to a room with a viewing window kind of like where they do the line ups. As I looked through the glass wall, I saw it. There before me in the middle of the other room. I thought it cannot be, so I rubbed my eyes, and took a second look. It really was, it was my coffee maker. I yelled at the officer, out of withdrawal, “What are you doing with my coffee maker? When did you guys break into my house and steal it?” Then it hit me I never looked at the security footage I have of my house.

The detective turned to me and said, “There is no need to shout! We found your coffee maker inside the vault of the bank on the corner near your house and we brought it here trying to understand what it was doing inside the locked vault.”

I said, “I got no clue, my wife left this morning and I asked her before you called if she had any idea what happened to it, and she had told me it was still at home on the kitchen counter this morning. So how the hell did you find it in the bank vault?”

The detective replied, “That’s what we had been wondering as well, so we checked it for finger prints or anything out of place, but there was nothing! Since it is a Smart Coffee Maker we used the operating system to find that it belonged to you. That is when we called and got a hold of you!”

So, I asked, “If you have nothing then on me or my Smart Coffee Maker then is it alright if I take it home, I’m having major withdrawals since it was missing all morning?”

The officer said, “sure thing you’re free to go, we did a thorough investigation and since nothing is missing at the bank they cannot press any charges. So, if you would like to grab it and take it home you can.”

Having no clue exactly what had happened I grabbed the coffee maker and took it home. The whole way home I was pondering throwing out the coffee maker in order to go back to the old times when the coffee makers were not smart.

Before I could do anything I had to brew one last pot of coffee before I would make up my mind. I took my time and cleaned the coffee maker then started to fill it with water, and my coffee grounds. I plugged it in and turned it on. I walked over to the phone to call my wife and tell her what had happened. She was shocked and said after that pot of coffee I will buy you a new coffee maker on the way home and we will get rid of that one.

When I got off the phone, I remembered my video surveillance and went to the office to turn it on and see what had happened. I started from the previous night, I had set the coffee maker on the counter and set it up so it would brew a new pot for me in the morning. Then I had gone to bed. There had been no other movement on the tape, but wait what was that. I had to re-watch a spot on the tape a few times then I realized the coffee maker display was showing my emails that had contained all my bills. So I kept watching, after my wife had left to work I saw the coffee maker disappear! Yeah I said disappear, it took several more times watching the tape but it just disappeared. And then I saw myself looking for the coffee maker.

When my wife was done eating dinner, I showed her the tape. She could not believe her eyes either, the coffee maker just disappeared. About that moment her cell phone went off, she turned and looked at it, grabbed it and screamed, “WHAT!”

She through the phone at me and said you read it. I started looking at the phone, and saw a message the subject line read from Smart Coffee Maker!

I opened the email thinking it was a joke, but as I read the email my jaw dropped. My wife started asking what I was reading. I told her, “I’m not sure looks like it says all your bills are paid in full, and your bitcoin wallet is full.”

She said that must be a hoax. I said, “let’s look at the wallet and see if it really is full.”

She reluctantly agreed. She walked over to the office computer to look online at blockchain.info then turned to me and started screaming in utter excitement. She was yelling “LOOK, LOOK, we are rich!”

I ran over and looked at the screen, I could not believe my eyes. I asked “am I seeing this correctly? 1000 bitcoin?”

She exclaimed, “YES!”

I felt like all our worries were now over and I started to smell the coffee brewing …

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