AUTUMN MISSING SNOW -Writing Impact Challenge [ 3rd place winner]

in #writingimpact7 years ago (edited)


AUTUMN MISSING SNOW


We miss you, our snow white
We miss your beauty, we miss your touch
Your voice that echo through the halls
Every time you give in to our family skype calls

The rhythm your violin makes
Shows the passion you never fake
Your favorite thing is coffee in red mug
In yellow shirt, we miss your warm hug

Your happy photograph on a purple space
Captive our heart, made us felt safe
But we still miss you unboxing your chocolate and smile
Your face and pearl earring makes one gladly sigh

Our swan is with us but you’re not here
Listen as we whisper though you can no longer hear
We miss your vision, your tender love and care
Now all we can do is to sit alone in our chair

We feel you in each wind that gently blows
In all water reflection you really shows
Much more on any seas and ocean
When we think of you we see slow motion

We see you in all stars we gaze
All of your ways are worth to praise
We still recall our autumn time spent
If only life and breath can be rent

You are the epiphany of gratitude
Your happiness whenever it rain attitude
Please guide our way from up above
It is still the music of your laugh that we all love

We are thirsty for your river of sun that shine
Fire in your eyes that makes everything fine
We know you do not want to leave
Yet your father, mother and I still grieve

Since you left, you gave light to our moon
but also darkness to our horizon every afternoon
We dare heaven to send back your stare
Your dreams still incensed in the air

It is your smile that is all we care
All of you will never ever be forgotten
Sometimes my walk reminds me of your life pattern
We will keep the memories and your favorite lantern



My official entry to The Writing Impact Challenge by @rensoul17. I have challenged myself to use all 50 words while maintaining the direction of my "poem story".
Composed specifically for this drive, to create an impact of emotions and for the Steemians who can relate to grievance and loss as well as positivity and undying love for a person.

Thank you for reading! ♥

Until next time!


Image source 1
Image source 2
Image source 3



UPVOTE is to Appreciate
RESTEEM is to Support
COMMENT is to Encourage

Sort:  

Well done! The poem was too long for my taste but definitely conveys a feeling of sadness, of missing someone. More than the words written I applaud the emotions that glows from what you have written. Here take a big upvote :)

This is well made, from the words to the meaning you want to show to your readers. You've improved leaps and bounds. Who knows your limits. Keep on writing and keep on steeming!

Oh my, you're so good in writing poem.

My heart is rejoicing.. thank you very much. ^_^
The awesomeness of Steemians makes me want to write more. ♥

Just keep on writing and posting

Yes, I will ^^
You're so sweet and supportive!

The love is indeed undying, and the memories so vividly shared keeps this person alive,

I felt like I knew this person, especially since I dream of owning a violin some day. Yes I not only want to play the violin there is something in me that is saying I must play the violin.
Each of the precious and tender moments you shared brought out beautiful emotions, and tears in me.

When I begin to read your poem in the midst of my very busy day, your words caused my life to be put on hold and stand still.
In those moments of reading what you wrote, nothing else mattered. I felt like a person on the outside looking in on all those real moments and I wanted to be included, be a part of the joy and the happiness and to experience the ways this person did certain things like only this person could.
To sum it up your poem and your word use is incredibly awesome. I see you using this poem for something other than just this challenge. Thank you for your entry @feye.

Oh dear @rensoul17.. I am speechless right now.
Warm hugs to you..

No words can express how much your message means to someone like me.
Again, it took me more than 28 yrs. to figure my love for poem. I feel good whenever my mind goes out and wonder. My heart doesn't want to be left out..it adds emotion to each words my hand is writing.
You are correct, this is not just about the challenge. It's what's my heart wants to share. :)

My pleasure. Thank you for your words, heartfelting.
These pricless encouragement will be one of the things in life I will forever cherish and keep me writing for more.

I especially like the play of words, the emotion of the poem was vividly put through.

Really a heart touching one :) it’s clearly depicts your love towards the season :)
Nice work and thanks for sharing

Appreciate your kind and encouraging words @praniththreddy. ♥
My pleasure to share my thoughts, Glad you liked, buddy. :)

It makes me want to write my own poetry. If only i can. Great job in this one!

Start holding your pen. You won't regret it. :)

Congratulations @feye! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

Award for the number of comments received

Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
For more information about SteemitBoard, click here

If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

By upvoting this notification, you can help all Steemit users. Learn how here!

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.26
TRX 0.29
JST 0.045
BTC 102013.28
ETH 3910.38
USDT 1.00
SBD 3.76