RE: A Swansong - The Impact Challenge Contest
I want to start with some words that I found so beautiful and powerful here, @authorofthings, I just need to knowledge them.
the metaphor you use here reminds me much of Maya Angelou's Caged Bird, and I love all the little meanings you tuck into the word choices and symbolisms of seemingly small lines such as the man turning down the music.
Their laughter is a bluebird’s trill
subdued, then turned to silence
yet they ache for rhythm, for fire, now hidden /
The way he turns down the music.
the sense of freedom capture so achingly in these lines, and the metaphor of the dandelion as her obstacle in life:
wild-haired, barefoot, wide-eyed,
standing in dirt, toeing a dandelion so it bends
away from her intended path.
the deep-set uncomfortableness of lines:
yet there is hope, as fragile as the wings /
of butterflies they’d torn as kids
in play, thinking of them as lizard tails.
"They will grow back," he’d said,
and the brilliant hammer that is:
but by remembering that pause
pause!
that in-between her mother’s happy
and her mother's still. And silent.
all your line and stanza breaks are so great, they make me want to read more. Even leaving me needing to read more, at times.
But to what avail? One of the best aspects of this piece is that there are more questions than there are answers - which lines up with experiences and life. Not all journeys have ends, help is not always on its way.
All in all, I really enjoyed this read - sorry it took so long to craft the comment, I went through a couple drafts, haha.
All the best, Inna, thank you for the share.