Confessions
Taken from my blog: athouse9.blogspot.com
Image: own
That feeling in my chest still had a hold of me. Tight and painful. The lump in my throat making the coffee go down in painful gulps.
"You told him, didn't you."
I heard every word she said and my ears rang as if she had screamed it.
She sighed and we sat in silence.
Her looking around at the people coming and going. Me staring into that caramel coloured liquid, steaming from the white mug between my hands.
"Friend-zoning is probably worse than total, outright rejection", she eventually mumbled.
The lump dropped down into my chest, "Right now, I wouldn't notice the difference", I took a long sip of the hot coffee, hoping it would burn the pain in my chest away.
She looked at me, her chin resting on her hand.
"It won't be ok", I sighed, sitting back and leaving the coffee mug alone on the table infront of me, bare to the world. "It'll always hurt, and when he finds someone and tells me, it'll hurt. This has never happened before."
"I know", she smiled that cheshire cat smile, "You're complex that way. That feelings like that were ever possible for someone like you, is beautiful in itself, even if he doesn't think so."
I winced. "Beautiful."
Beautiful didn't happen, not here, this feeling wasn't beautiful.
And it clutched, with all ten fingers around the heart and mind and squeezed...
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