Friday

Every end of the week i wake up confused, why am i still in bed? why am i still here? was that a dream? i take a shower, scrub my balls, put my shoes on and go out. I arrive there listen to some bullshit, second guess everything then i walk out i feel like am choking myself. I try not to look at anyone they might see whats inside my head if they look at my eyes. I tilt my hat as low as it will get. I see an old man walking with a cane i try to walk behind him i try to suck up his energy. He is walking so slow i wish i could walk as slow as him, i pass him despite myself. I cross the street, everything feels backwards and upside down, am not high am not on drugs am just walking back home on a Friday afternoon. I go back home and sit in front of the T.V my face settles in place, smiling is a conscious effort and i feel my facial muscles stirring from inactivity. I don't want to talk to anyone. My life plays back on the television screen, broken hand, crying, yelling, being called a piece of shit, crushes i don't forget for some reason. I wish i could dream some more, but i never remember anyway.