La Croix Sux - Am I Right?

in #writing6 years ago

Seriously though, what is the deal with this unsweetened flavorless bubble water?!?

Everyone is shitting there pants over this drink. Whether I’m at a party, the kitchenette in an office, or at a picnic at the cemetery, this multi-colored beverage is a demand of the most trendy of connoisseur.

I mean seriously, people love it so much, they make swimming trunks out of it!

But is it any good?

It claims that it comes in a plethora of flavors, from Lemon-Lime to Tangerine, but can it really be called a “flavor” if you only “taste” it AFTER you’ve stopped drinking it, and even then, just the ghost of a flavor that lingers in the back of your throat, like a pungent beer and chicken wings aroma that lingers after eating too much at a Buffalo Wild Wings and puking in the urinal.

And then on top of that, it’s got it’s nose so far up it’s own ass that it can’t just say Grapefruit, Oh, no no no no, it’s gotta call THAT “flavor” pamplemousse (the french word for snobby douche.)

Millennials love this crap, so it’s easy to hate it, but really, is it just that my palette has been so ruined by a childhood of jamming as many skittles in my mouth as possible, or is it really lazy flavoring that has become popular because it’s “cool” to like it?

I need your help. Am I right, this shit is swill? Or do you just absolutely love it, and think I’m a maniac.

You tell me.


This literally made me laugh out loud. I work with a few people that go on and on about this stuff. The whole time I'm having thoughts of Edina from AbFab saying "LaCroix sweetie, LaCroix". Screenshot_20180530-150358~2.png

Seriously, so funny. Thanks for the meme! Love it.

I cannot stand it. It is another gimmick to sell bottled water. The flavor is artificial and when you make your own flavored water using fresh fruit it tastes far better.

It's crazy how long it's been around, for it to only become popular now. And yeah, making your own always tastes better, but how do you carbonate at home?

With a soda machine. I have one, you pop the bottle under it , press the button and there you have it. It is called a "soda fountain" I Bought it about 30 years ago, and it still works.

I've always said that it sucks. The only people that like it are people that like to smell their own farts, it's soo overrated.

Sanpellegrino is so much better!

P.S. Get the blood orange if you can :)

I completely agree that San Pellegrino is better, but my favorite flavor is Aranciata.

I don't like to drink something that is only flavored when I stop drinking it. Maybe it's popular because is whats trending, not my cup of tea tho. Thanks for your article it raises good points about the drink.

I love your posts, I can’t stop laughing. But it’s so true. My girlfriend swears by this shit, I hate it. There’s no real flavor to it. It’s like the worse tease ever. I stand by you with on this. I guess millennials like is because it’s a much softer flavor than the tide pods they eat . 😂

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