Americans are whiney, not the ones now, but the Americans who were British, but then stopped being British.

in #writing7 years ago


I'm a freedom loving patriotic American myself, but I am a bit ashamed on how we left his Majesty King George II.
It all started with the Navigation Acts, Britain saying "HEY COLONISTS, SO YOUR COUNTRY SAYS YOU CAN'T TRADE WITH OTHER NATIONS SINCE YOU'RE PART OF BRITAIN THAT SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM" and then the colonists were all like "Okay fam we gotchu" but some of the colonists in the background were like "naw dawg we ain't gotchu fam, we gotz to look out for numero uno up in hizzle" a very small amount of those un fam worthy kin, began to smuggle their goods to other countries, such as France and Spain(Britain's main competitors mind you.).
Now after the French and Indian War (Which the English friggin destroyed, the French and I believe the Huron natives, got absolutely decimated.) the English had some debt to pay off, so they told the colonists that they would need to help out a bit, the Colonists didn't like that not one bit, top that off with tensions between natives and colonists, and Great Britain saying "hey there mini-me, so you can't travel westward for a bit so we don't trigger a revolt of the natives, we'll check around in a bit, be good) now the colonists were getting real pissed, real worked up over this, the colonists and started to think that they weren't Britain(They Totally Were), granted not many held resentment towards Britain, just a wee bit upset, but eventually came the, say it with me now, Taxation Without Representation!!! Britain might have been taxing the colonists quite a bit, but if the British were taxing the hell out of the colonists, then the British were taxing the Detriot out of hometown Britain citizens, but did the citizens in the land mass of her majesty revolt and cut off everyone's heads off(We're looking you, you damn Frenchies.)? No, they paid their taxes quietly mumbling because they don't want to be sent to their room, but the colonists?They threw a hissy fit and messed a perfectly good harbor and some tea, which the colonists loved, by the way, they were all up in that tea. The British told the colonists they had to fix the harbor with their chump change, and then the colonists disowned the Mother Country and killed a bunch of people Just think, its like a child has to do his chores, but instead of doing his chores, he has an emotional breakdown and slams a perfectly good twinkie onto his bedroom wall, the parent disciplines the child by telling it, it has to clean it up, and then the child shoots the parent in the foot, and has been left unpunished, to this day.
(THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS I LEFT OUT)
Surprisingly enough the colonists grew from that and became the powerhouse and somehow became a well-adjusted adult, making some mistakes and going through a mid-life crisis named trump, it's a pretty good place to be.
(Not all of this is completely accurate,)

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