HOSPITAL AND ITS NOSTALGIA PART II

Hospital and it's nostalgia II

I'm at the hospital again.

I love the hospital, doesn't mean I love being here.

I'm here today, but not by choice. Left to me I would have sat at home, worse still I buy herbs from those northern sellers I heard they are equally effective. As we walked through the main entrance two nurses walked past us giggling, what is funny here? A doctor was approaching us, he was explaining something to a man dressed in casual clothes, can't tell if he was a patient. As they got closer, I and dad moved to the side so they could pass, the doctor gave an acknowledging nod, he had this cool aura around him.
Father looked at me, I looked away.

I'm already under too much torture from myself, he didn't have to join in. It has been at least 8 years ago but the reality is still with us.
This was supposed to be my life, shiny white neatly pressed lab coats, stethoscope on my neck if I feel like it, people screaming at me, Doctor! Doctor!, I walk over to them calmly with a reassuring smile listen to their problems and tell them it's under control and convince them they'll be fine.
Tearing people up, down, left, right and centre to fix them up, blood all over my hands, when they return to thank me for a job well done "I was only doing my Job" I'd reply, smile then walk away calmly.

Everybody knew, I knew and I was on the right track. Grades were perfect, I already had a cool temperament and dedicated to a fault so I knew within me this was for me. I was made for this.

Then this happened,

Sophomore year in Senior Secondary, I met this girl. Free as a bird, agile as a monkey, she lived up there in the skies, in the mountains with the eagles and guess who she chose to live up there with her - yours faithfully. Me!
In her I found love, her lips were sweet, the valley between her breasts was home, I never wanted to leave her side, never wanted to pull back from her embrace.
She proofed to me with the life she led that I haven't been living life the right way, that the life I was living was carefully moulded by my parents and their expectations of me, my past, present and future was nothing but extensions of them. I had never felt this way but it began to make sense after she said it.
And boy!, I believed her so I explored. I went on a search for the real me but before that we had a purification ceremony, unbecoming everything that wasn't me.
She was my sensei, I let her lead. I considered her wiser beyond her years with a wisdom that only heaven could give.
The three years we spent together was magic, she got me to live high up there with her, high like I was on cannabis - not as if I didn't do that too.
But just as that popular quote, love is magic, but magic sometimes can be just an illusion

I barely made it out of high school, my grades weren't good enough for Medicine, not even Medical Laboratory but then I still was living the high life. My parents enrolled me at a Pre- degree but I failed out, I could barely stay out of trouble, DUIs, noise complains, i even did a time at Juve, law offices knew me by name.

My babe lost her mom while we were in Juve, she couldn't handle it and was delusional for a while, I tried medicine for the third time and couldn't make it, one of my relations suggested I try veterinary medicine - why? So I'd smile at animals? I love animals but not enough to be their doctor.
The fire was finally burning out but the smoke hasn't settled, so it trailed me, I was having a difficult time returning to the righteous path, I studied harder but still wasn't accepted by any university to study medicine, the universe was against me, worst of all my love ran away without telling me.

The doctor tapped his desk and I looked up, he adjusted his glasses and scribbled down prescriptions in his almost invisible writing - my writing used to be very good but to live up to the legends, I trained to be bad till I could barely read what I wrote.
Turned out it was just diet, nothing was wrong with father. We thank him and made our way out of his office.

After we got to the car, Dad looked at me and asked " what were you doing with your life"

Four years on, I'm in my third year at the University studying Human Relations, last time I heard of her she was doing better, went to rehab and is now clean, I think I still love her. I'll email her next week. There's nothing to lose now.

"i was living it dad ", I didn't say it loud. I know he loves me and wanted the best for me, I broke his heart in half but I shattered mine into unfixable bits.

"If you weren't playing with your life you would have been here son"

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Hospital and it's nostalgia part I