That One Time I Felt How It Feels To Die (Trumpman's Memoirs #2)

Here I am, on the operating table. 20 years old and about to have surgery on my left knee. The why's and how's don't really matter. That's not the point of the story... 

I am a bit stressed but nothing I can't handle. My mouth is so fucking dry for some reason, there is not a single molecule of spit in it! I think it's the side-effect from some drug they gave me a few minutes ago (I think it was an injection but I am not really sure I remember correctly)... All I know is that it's fucking annoying. I bit my lips and tongue to force the salivation process but nothing happens.. Fuck it...

 The anesthesiologist comes, does some shit with his equipment, brings a mask to my face and asks me to some take deep breaths from it...

I am both worried and curious of how it will feel to be "forced" by a drug to "sleep"... I take a breath... Nothing happens... I take a second.. Nothing again..I take a third.. That's weird.. It literally felt like the brain inside my head just made a 360 spin.. I take a fourth... 

Fuck!

I can't fucking breath! Like something is stuck in my airway, but without anything being actually stuck..Fuck fuck fuck! I can't fucking breath! The idiot must have fucked up something and I am about to fucking choke to death! 

I can feel the adrenaline running through my body like so many times before.. That same adrenaline that made my brain think twice as fast, my muscles be twice as strong and my reflexes so fast everything goes to slow motion!

I try to push that mask of my fucking face.. Fuck! Normally, I would have given his hand a push to remember but now.. Now my hand barely moved! My whole body is totally numb and barely responding! And I am still fucking chocking! I am chocking, I can't talk, and I can't fucking move. But I am not gonna die for that idiot..

I harness every last bit of strength I have and push as hard as I can... My hand almost reaches the mask this time... He doesn't stop though... Instead the asshole forces the mask on my face and I know I am fucking screwed. I am fucking dead... Still, I try to move, to scream, to whatever... I know it's pointless... My logic tells me I am dead but my animal instincts force me to fight to the end.... 

Everything is black.. I hear a female voice. The most beautiful voice I have ever heard:

"Stick your tongue out if you can hear me"

"I am fucking alive", is my first thought.. I happily oblige to the funny command and my vision soon starts to return.. The surgery was over and moments later they move me to my bed...

That feeling of doom is something that haunted me for years to come...And believe me... It's not a nice feeling at all..

What happened? Here's a simple explanation I got from another anesthesiologist ten years later when I had another knee surgery. Apparently, the gas has two main components. One that makes you sleep and one that paralyzes your body. If the mixture is correct, you are supposed to first "sleep" and then paralyze. Probably my anestheliogist had fucked something and things happened with the wrong order...

So, what's the moral of the story? 

Dying sucks..So, don't die :D

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