Be My Own Coach: Facts vs Opinions

I was recently coached by @kittichang, the most (in)credible woman I've ever met in my life. Everything she says strikes in me.

This is one of many,

For far too many facts, we've unconsciously or consciously implanted so many opinions and emotions on them. Hey, What do you mean Tifa?

This is what I mean,

You felt so betrayed and angry when you found out your girlfriend cheated on you with another man. You feel so unloved and your life is a suffering. You start to remember your past, your father had an affair and your family had to suffer because of it. You start to believe your life is full of betrayal and emptiness.

This is what you tell yourself, and all humans do. It's extremely normal but it's very toxic. Because of events that you derive from opinions and feelings, you began create a belief system that My life is full of betrayal and emptiness. You may, or may not realize it.

@kittichang told us the simplest and really, the simplest technique to prevent this from clouding our mind. It's super effective but it comes with effort. You gotta be conscious of which is fact, which is opinion so that you do not drown in your sea of thoughts.

Taking the story above, which is fact, which is opinion?

There's only 1 fact.

• Your girlfriend wants to be with another man.

The rest are just opinions

• Feeling betrayed
• Feeling unloved
• Feeling empty
• Feeling cheated
• Life is a suffering and emptiness

Truth be told, your actions are dictated by opinions more than facts. You could explode, scold your girlfriend, weep and let your emotions take over. You become illogical. Then your brain starts to defend itself. It doesn't want you to feel so bad, so your defense system comes into play. Your defense system is acceptance and believe that Life is a suffering and emptiness.

And you'll carry this for the rest of your life, whether you know it or not.

How to prevent this?

Separate facts with opinions

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In any events, identify which is fact, which is opinion. Write them down if you must.

Acknowledge all of your opinions and feelings. Embrace them as a part of yourself. Thank them, and let them pass.

Your mind is clear now.

Suddenly, you know you should talk to her calmly. That you should understand her situation and reasons she finds another man.

You could've easily get over this or repair your relationship with her. If and only if you can separate facts and opinions.

Is this the same as suppressing your emotions?

No, it's not. Writing down the opinion means you acknowledged those opinions and you willingly embraced them as part of you. When you are calm, recall those opinions, acknowledge them and let them pass.

Suppression is forget and pretend nothing happened.

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Share and comment below,

Recall 1 past event that has hurt you. Among your thoughts, which are facts, which are opinions?
How do you feel after you have separated them?

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@tifaong writes simple and positive practices and ideas that you can learn (or re-learn) and apply in your life immediately. She covers life lessons, self-help, relationships, and motivational contents. Her mission is to spread positivity so that we can live a happier, fulfilling life.

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