Raising children while being Allergic to them!
Raising kids can be a daunting task at times, especially when you're child or children SEEM TO BE POSESSED BY SOME DARK FORCE!!
Anyway, developing an allergy towards your kids can make it even more challenging!
I'm obviously not referring to the fact that I have an actual allergy towards my kids... I just figured it seems kinda catchy and there are times that I feel I do, most of the time towards my 3 year old daughter.
Why?
Nah, not really. She can just be VERY difficult at times.
What makes it harder for us as parents is that we also don't want to break her spirit and rather nurture it. She has an extremely strong little personality and we feel it is important to keep it that way. Too often people try to break children down in order to fit in with what they perceive to be how a child should behave.
I've seen this with the early schooling of both our kids. The teachers seemed to try and turn them into little sheep that will blindly follow the herder. We don't believe in that method. We rather encourage their individual behaviors and try to strengthen their weaknesses.
I can understand why so many teachers do it though. It makes it easier. It is far easier herding sheep than herding children's different personalities.
With Katalina (my daughter) I have had to put more focus on teaching her simple manners. You know, "Please" "Thank you", that kind of vibe. Soren (my son) caught onto this very easily since he is a people pleaser however Katalina is more self centered.
So, what is the point?
I guess there's no real point I'm trying to make here besides the following:
Most all of us struggle with parenting at times. Raising kids is hard work and a lifetime commitment. If you don't ever struggle with raising your children then you are a Super Human or a Super Disturbed Human - In other words, wake up and smell the coffee.
We need to nurture and encourage the natural development of our kids instead of bullying them into being what we want them to be. I am by no means saying that let them run free and create absolute havoc in our lives. There are guidelines that need to be followed however encourage their strength's and work at their weaknesses.
Teach your children manners. There is nothing worse than a child that doesn't have decent manners. If I had laser beams in my eyes I'd zap 'em. That is how strongly I feel about being a decent human being. If nothing else, I'd raise decent little humans that will be well received and respected by others.
I guess this post was to help me a little with my allergies lately. It's been a tough road however well worth all the struggles. I wouldn't change my kids or the path we chose for anything in the world.
To those of you that don't have kids yet, you will only ever understand once you do :)
To the single parents out there, I salute you!
A great mention should go out to those parents that raise other's children. Thanks to @plushzilla for pointing this out. Whether you've adopted a child or some other alternative situation. SALUTE!!
To those parents that have good support from family and friends, I'm a little jealous :D
Thanks for dropping by :)
Cheers!
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I agree about good manners! Nothing annoys me more than not getting a please or thank you!
Yeah, or when a child talks to you like they do to their friends. There is just no level of respect being shown. Thanks for the comment :)
@annelizdoug I TOTALLY agree! The same when adults don't have any manners.
Considering how hard it is to teach some adults manners, I have no doubt the struggle with children is not an easy task either. However, sometimes it is just the different ways that we communicate with each other and their environment that can also influence their behaviour.
You should also include people who are raising other people's children in your acknowledgements, they show love to those that are not directly linked to them by blood, which is a very pure and noble form of love as well :)
That is an excellent point @plushzilla :) One that didn't come to mind. Perhaps parents that adopt or raise other's kids deserve their own post.
Thanks for dropping by.
UPDATED :)
Oh my word @therneau, we used to call it the terrible twos & threes, but sometimes it goes on a little longer ;) I think you're doing quite ok! Important to teach a child respect, nurture self respect and teach them to respect others!
Another period I found trying was the teens. Oh my word, a friend used to say the gremlins come take them away when they become a teen, she was so right, some bring our kids back soon, others take quite a while!
Lol, defintely not looking forward to the teens. Hopefully the gremlins won't have them for too long :D
Let's hope those gremlins tire of them quickly, but it's still a long way off :)
This is so funny - not to discourage you but the teenage years are still coming hahaha - do not worry , we all survive it. The secret is growing a very thick skin. Resteeming. Enjoyed your post
Lol, thanks @anneke :) I'm glad you noticed the hint of humour. When they're teenagers I'll probably do a really angry post :D
You will be too busy driving them around to do a post hahaha
Bwaahaahaha
You welcome@therneau . keep her under your wing always.
It's hell! We have a 4 year old who seems to be our emperor. We have to do whatever she says or feel her wrath. And she won;t tire of crying and whining until we give in. And mostly we do! There are time I catch myself arguing with her and then I stop and say 'what the hell am I doing?'
So definitely see your point.
I think our two daughters may have some quantum connection - they sound so similar!
good luck!
Bwahaahaaha, quantum connection indeed. Pretty much exactly the same. Crying and whining incessantly. Ugh.
Haha true story. Our trying, precious Katalina.
Hehe, I think trying is an understatement babes. She IS POSESSED BY SOME DARK FORCE :D
We also envy those parents whose family respect and follow their type of nurture.
We're lucky to have found a local school for parents, where we share experiences about respectful parenting under supervision of a children psychologist, who helps us understand how a child brain do work.
Yes, support systems are important and it's great that you guys have such a strong system like that available. Around here, something like that will cost a small fortune :D
Hi @Therneau. your little girl wants her daddy to help her find her way in this great big sometimes ugly and sometimes good world. I am sure like all little girls are in love with their daddies. believe me I have three. you are what I can see . a loving dad . I love your post
Lol, thank you for the wonderful comment. Yeah, even though she drives me up the wall most of the time, it's all worth it for those little moments of magic... that no words can ever describe :)
Bindings in child raising is really harmful to their fulfill natural development. As a man can not be 100% about his strong personality so he can not be the model for following from all aspects. And this practice destroy their creativity. So we should be conscious about this. ________Thank for this important post.
Indeed. Much agreed. You can't hold back their natural abilities and as a mother or father, we're not perfect either :)