There's this 5-minute Freestyle writing exercise going around, wherein a writer sets a timer and then improvises in a sort of stream-of-consciousness story, poetry or anything at all, for five minutes. I decided to try it, and with an emphasis on the 'freestyle' part, I didn't even use a timer, and instead I freestyled the time that I was freestyling.

My 5-minute freestyle writing ended up being shorter than I liked, so I did two more, still using no timer, and they got even shorter. Determined to make a decent post out of this exercise, I added a 30-minute pencil sketch to accompany the first freestyle attempt, and finally decided that I had done all that I could for my first 3 tries. Enjoy, and give it a try if you like!

Three 5-Minute Freestyle Writings

• 1. 'These Guys'

Ok which of these guys invented the laugh? They always sit in the same spot, and always that laugh; it starts with a 'B' and even has a 'w' before they get to the 'haha' part. It's amazing how much those two look alike, but I think the shorter of the two got the laugh somewhere-- the tall guy only uses it when he is not really laughing. I'm not sure why he uses it when he does, what, am I a psychiatrist now? I just don't think it comes as naturally to him as it does the other guy. Neither of them seem qualified to attach the 'bw' to the beginning of a laugh-- is anything really that funny? I wonder why they talk so quietly, only to ruin it with the laugh-- it's a loud laugh by nature of the 'bw' sound, if you add that to a laugh you had better have something that's funny enough to share with the whole class. I think I'll be disappointed when I hear what compels them to bwaahaha between themselves-- methinks they are too easily amused, but then it could be the funniest thing I ever heard. Never know.

These Guys

• 2. 'Zippo Songs'

Can you play Free Bird on that Zippo lighter? The clink is solid, the clink says something. There’s a smell too, it’s not good unless you’re playing that song. Then it’s rock and roll. How many guitars does it take to play free bird? None, just one lighter. There’s several other songs that work on the Zippo, like ‘Hold the Bottle Honey’ and of course ‘Mary’s Got My Howitzer’, which is often played with two lighters at once. Good stuff though.

• 3. 'The Sets'

It’s a set. One might set a thing or set it down, or find the whole set in cereal boxes, and ethereal boxes. I set out to see if all of the meanings of set were of any use, and the word became set in the vocabulary. A swing set comes to mind, as we set down our beers, but then no law is set saying we can’t drink and swing, and if there were we would be obliged to drink on the swing. Set in our ways, I’ve set my sights on when I see a sun set, the son is set for life as is set in the will.

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thanks for reading these three five-minute freestyle writing exercises, artwork featuring These Guys by me, 2017 in colored pencil. Thanks to @improv for creating this #freewrite fun, and thanks to @jedau and @dreemit for passing me the idea for this writing exercise

@therealpaul