Clown Season in the USA: Moron's Election Year Survival Guide (BAD LANGUAGE)

   
So how did I get so damned smart, all of a sudden? Don't ask me. I wasn't being bothered by any troublesome thinking, I was minding my own business, and then I read something that was so desperately stupid that I was just ashamed and sad.  Sometimes I think people are joking when they are really being serious, and not all clowns are in the clown business for the laughs, is what I'm thinking now. 

Bringing everybody the serious stuff

I'm not smart anymore. Maybe, long ago, I was intelligent in some ways-- I dunno. The witnesses haven't come forward on that yet. If there was ever any smart app in my head somewhere, I may have accidentally deleted it, like a dumb-ass.

  The fact that I can very skillfully do stupid things could be used as proof of something; watch me expertly roll a cigarette, showing my years of diligent practice, and then tell me how smart I am. When I was a kid, I learned how to bite my fingernails, trimming them with my teeth-- just in case there were no clippers available, so then, I never needed to get any nail clippers, and eventually I wore the enamel off of my teeth. Is that the sign of a fucking genius? Don't ask me. I spent school days looking out the window, thinking about summer days, and on actual summer days, I had nothing to think about. Smart? Now, I wonder, but less and less often. 

There may have been some smart kids around back in those days, but me and my dumb-ass friends didn't like many of them. Who likes smart kids? Hell, their own parents don't even like them. Ok maybe that's too harsh-- there were a couple of smart ones who were alright, but that's not the point. It was the smartest thing I ever learned from any smart kids, those poor shits; their path looked like a hard one to me-- lots of thinking, never any fun. Me and my dumb-ass friends knew better.

 Why do I say my "dumb-ass friends"? So, yeah me--like a dumb-ass-- I go on Facebook the other day to stare at some mindless crap that evidently suits me so well, and some of my oldest of friends were posting things. I'd always assumed that they were all at least smarter than me, and I'm not sure what I was seeing, but it looked to me like something stupid. There was some uncomfortable activity somewhere behind my eyeballs that got my attention then-- an unfamiliar effect-- I think I might have had a thought, or something. Probably not.

 Well, I kept scrolling down-- there's usually a funny cat pic-- and it kept happening. Were these things that were appearing in the feed their thoughts? My old friends were writing things that they thought? 

As smart as that sounded, I managed to read some of their writing, and I was struck with an alarming thing, a realization that most certainly was a coherent thought of my own. These people are stupider than me!  

4 of your other friends already like 'Shit'

 

What really made me worry though, was that they didn't seem to know how moronic they were. It was horrifying! Maybe they'd always talked like this, and me being, you know, slow-- I just didn't know what they were talking about.

 I'm not completely against learning, I do it all the time by accident, and later I'm usually glad my brain did it's little thing. Now, though, I think it's safe to say that I won't be learning about the world from my friends, at least not from the ones who use Facebook as their pulpit and See-BS News as their god, telling me what their giant TV wants me to think, and getting plain vicious over my lack of interest in their little clown puppet theater. 

Recently I tried asking a couple of simple questions about their ridiculously prized and cherished presidential election, but we've already covered how stupid I can be, so I intend to put the focus here instead on the US Election Idiocy on Facebook, which has made me feel like one of those smart kids for once. (Note to my followers: I shan't post directly on this stupid topic again)

Clown Season: The Election 

Just for reference, me and most of these confused acquaintances live in the USA, and it's officially clown season here, especially now that there is a big election coming to town. Here, I wrote down a few of the things that the Facebook geniuses were going on about before the stupid set in, with my commentary added in italics, followed by how they are apparently fully stupid now, in bold text: 

1. "Our own government is obviously just the Public Relations Department for the petro-pharma industry." (Yes, that's correct, and I like how it's worded so neatly)  

"Now, forget that, and go VOTE for them." 

  
2. "That same destructive petro-pharma industry, which we all despise, is actually kept afloat by our own taxes in the form of government subsidies." (Yep, hear all those smart-sounding words?)  

"If, however, you don't want to pay your taxes, then you are not a good citizen, and you obviously hate your country." (It's confusing, but I'm pretty fucking sure there was something stupid there)
 

3. "ALL of the politicians are psychopathic parasites, feeding off of a gullible populace." (More big words, my friends really know how to write things of importance sometimes)  

"Now get out there take back control, by VOTING in November!" (ah, never mind)

 I know, there's lots more, but I type slowly, and I think '3' is a plenty big number, a good place to take a rest. In defense of some of my friends-- some of them do sound smart, even making sense for years at a time-- but when the national election rolls into town there's clowns everywhere--vicious ones-- and I watch them put their little rubber red noses on so smugly, and frowns painted so sadly, they tell Facebook some of the stupidest things. Clown season is sad for everyone involved. 

 

if you're smiling, you must be a fan of [the other bad politician]

Reality Isn't Stupid

 I did learn something though-- a bit of knowable stuff has somehow penetrated my noggin for a lesson. In real life-- in meat world and certainly away from Facebook, the vicious clowns are either rare, or they've left their painted frowns at home. Also, I hardly see any political bumper stickers this 2016 season-- people know it's stupid. What I think, is that people are tired of acting stupid, and they are ashamed of themselves for participating in it. Pulling little curtains and levers, pushing buttons that seem to do nothing-- they feel like fools. Maybe I'll try to be a little more understanding with them. See? I'm learning things. 

So if a vicious Facebook clown lashes out at me with something like "If you don't vote, you don't get to complain." I just remember how comically unimportant the complaints of trained clowns actually are in the real world, and I think that they are really lashing out at themselves for being so stupid every four years. Is ignoring them the smartest thing to? Fuck if I know, but that's what I'm going to do. 

@therealpaul

(I'm counting on your supportive votes on this post; I've decided to start drinking, and I'll need lots of alcohol right away)

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