Silence gaping through
Silence fading you
It has been a long time since I stopped speaking much. I used to be a person who’d befriend you in a couple of minutes. But since a few years, I’ve turned towards introversion. Silence has taken over my entire existence. Even though, I can talk to my old friends like before. I remember mom saying that people who are extroverted in their childhood tend to become introverts in adulthood and vice versa.
It all started when I left home after school, taking a drop year to prepare for NEET, an all India entrance test for medical colleges. I was determined to pursue the medical field, no matter what sacrifices I had to make. I entered a place of competition and struggles, without giving it a second thought that I may have not been cut out for it. Someday, I’ll write about my stories at Allen Career Institute. It was one of the toughest years of my life. I couldn’t get along with people well there, and it was the first time I was at a private institution. I was all alone even though I was surrounded by people. It gives me chills to even think about it, after 2 years of getting out of there, securing a good enough rank and getting into a medical college. I still get blank when someone asks me how I did it.
I started being by myself more often as college started. My mental health was at its lowest and my studies started being affected. Trusting people was being difficult, because my mind wasn’t able to make proper decisions about people.
I wouldn’t enjoy my own company too, then. I was always at a super unstable state. I started hating my studies, the whole medical field. I started visiting my friends in different cities to find peace, but failed. Everything seemed to be falling apart, until I finally decided I had to get professional help.
It has been about 2 years to that now, and I’m at a much better place. I have learned to love my company- I have found peace in solitude. It has been quite a journey, but one thing has stayed constant, my company. In bad times and good, I have been there for me and nothing could ever beat that. My journey has taken me from being alone to being in solitude with myself. I was forced into introversion by circumstances and I found peace there. I think, that’s what life does to you- it asks you to be more in touch with your inner self.