Out Here Overthinking #Freewrite
Sometimes intensified thoughts grip my mind with some arthritic muscles and forces me to go through the agony of experiencing dark unanswerable notions. This tips off my emotions and at times my confusion streams down my cheeks as salty drops as I try to escape my own suffocating headspace.
Sometimes the still blue sky overlooking the migrating white clouds has me feeling small. To be able to share the same space with such magnificence humbles my mortal clay. Something about these formless sheep racing to earthly horizons has me also feeling expectional as nature is constantly teaching me humility!
Sometimes I obsess over why we are here? Why we are the current generation? The us of the now. There are times it all feels like an experiment gone wrong. Born to survive while the amounts of narcissism we indulge in controls us like puppets in an open market. We crave each other's destruction as we live and die.
Sometimes I get lost in the one percent pure humanity. The ones who get that there's more judgement where men of cloth gather than in tattoo parlours. Those who choose to mind their fucking business as much as they can. Some comfortably looking forward to hell while already living in it. The fountains of what we should be about not what the society expects.
Sometimes I bleed from past wounds. Those I sank at the floor my darkened ocean only to surface when light finds it's way through my murky sins. They've taught me that one can never bury their past deep enough and that pain is as unconcealable as falling in love.
Sometimes I live rather than exist. I take in the smell of freshly quenched soil and dash through drizzling streets. My soul buys in to the idea of giving positive vibes a chance and allowing my frozen heart to find love again. It is in those small moments that the joy of living lays low waiting for whichever desperate being reaches out.
Three days of fighting with PayPal and life. Time feels like it's slipping through my hands like sand from the hour glass. I need to catch up...
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