The Dark Magic Show - Episode 5 (Short Fiction Script)

What is dark magic? How does it work? The answers might surprise you.

Scene:  Sly grinning sorcerer in a strikingly shiny black tophat struts onto the stage.  An expectant crowd applauds and sends upbeat vibes.    

Magician (waving, grinning):  Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! You’re too kind! What you’re about to see is stunningly real! Or not…...Or both? Before we begin, I’d like to introduce my lovely assistant, Storm! She’s the first humanoid AI performer in history! Or is she…..? Come on our, Storm!

An artificially crafted female in a dazzling outfit gracefully makes an entrance.    

Magician:  It looks like we have quite the captive audience here today! Who’s ready to be bedazzled?!

Crowd cheers energetically. 

Magician:  Before performing our trick, I need you fine folks to answer questions for me.  Is there anyone in the audience that suffers from any physical pain?

Vast majority of hands go up.

Magician:  And how many of you take prescription pain medications?

A few hands go down, but most remain.

Magician:  Astonishing! Now, for those of you with your hands up, keep it there if you wish to come on stage and volunteer to be a part of our dark magic act!

Most hands go down.

Magician:  A few brave souls remain! (points to balding, middle aged character) You, sir, in the sixth row! Come on up, please!

Man gawks around awkwardly.

Magician:  Yes, you!

Guy does quick comb-over with hand, shows teeth, waddles down aisle, steps up on stage at the speed of molasses.

Magician:  What’s your name please, sir?
Guy:  Marty!

Magician:  Marty, thanks for volunteering! May I ask what pain troubles you exactly?
Marty (gruff):  Well, I’ve had chronic back pain for years.    

Magician:  Ouch! I, too, once suffered such an affliction.  I can empathize for sure.  May we know what type of medication you take?

Marty:  Uh, well, that’s kinda private.
Magician:  Does it rhyme with MoxyBotin?

Marty (blushing):  Uh, well…..

Magician:  Say no more, Marty! That’s a clear enough answer for us! Marty, are there days where even your prescription isn’t effective enough for you?

Marty (dejected):  Probably the majority, actually.    

Crowd awwwws.

Magician:  Marty, the good news is, there is a different drug that’s about to start clinical trials right now.  It’s more powerful than standard opioid based painkillers, such as Oxycontin.  Would you be willing to give it a try if it could reduce or even end your pain?

Marty:  Oh, I’d try just about anything to do that!
Magician:  Very well, Marty.  Would you like to know the name of this drug?

Marty:  Oh yes, please, tell me!
Magician:  It’s called HEROIN!

Crowd oooohs and awwwws.    

Marty:  Heroin! But that’s illegal, isn’t it?
Magician:  Well, people do get thrown in cages for it, if that’s what you mean…...Anyway, the government is allowing certain experiments to be done with heroin, to see how effective it can be with pain management.    

Marty:  But how can that be, if it’s illegal?
Magician:  Marty, it seems you’re having some doubts.  (turns to Storm) Storm, would you please lower the jumbotron?   

Storm activates a control panel and a jumbotron slowly lowers from the rafters.    

Magician:  To help relieve your mind, Marty, please turn your attention to the jumbotron.

A well dressed figure with an authoritative voice flashes on screen.

Screen Figure:  In other news, it was announced today that the government will start clinical trials with heroin, to test its effectiveness at combating pain.    

Screen flashes off.

Magician:  See there, Marty.  It was on the news, so it must be true, right? Does that make you feel better?
Marty:  Uh, well, it does help a little, but I’m still not sure.   

Magician:  I understand, Marty.  But it’s your lucky day! We just happen to have a special guest backstage! (turns to Storm) Storm, please bring out our special guest to help Marty!

Storm struts over to the towering backstage curtain and pulls it back.  A bespectacled woman with a shiny white coat comes out and approaches Marty and the Magician.    

Magician:  Marty, this is Darlene Pillsarus.  She’s part of the government trial.  Darlene, could you speak with Marty for a bit? Marty, what reservations do you have about taking heroin for your pain?

Marty:  Well, I’ve always thought that drugs like that are bad.    

Pillsarus (sympathetic tone):  Now Marty, this is understandable.  Actually, many prescription painkillers are opioid based.  Heroin is just a stronger and less conventional form of the same drug.  Any clinical trial you do with us will be closely monitored and controlled for your safety.

Marty:  Uh, well, is it expensive?
Pillsarus:  Oh, don’t worry about that, Marty.  This is a government sponsored project, so there would be no cost to you.

Magician (sarcastic):  Yes, there are millions of people getting extorted by the governmnt to pay for your heroin, Marty, so don’t worry about money.    

Marty:  Are you sure it’s safe?
Pillsarus:  As with any opioid-based painkiller, there is always a small risk involved.    

Magician:  What do ya say, Marty? Will you take some heroin?
Marty:  Well, I guess if they say it’s legal and safe, then yeah, I’ll give it a shot.

Magician:  Interesting choice of words, Marty! Miss Pillsarus, please prepare your first victim, er, um, I mean, patient.

Pillsarus pulls out syringe, grins, walks up to Marty and grabs arm.

Marty (trembling):  What?! Now?!  

Pillsarus slowly moves needle tip towards Marty’s arm.  Marty starts sweating.  Just as the needle is about to break the skin…..

Magician:  That’s enough, Miss Pillsarus! That’s enough!

Pillsarus pulls back. 

Magician (to audience):  Ladies and gentleman, that is some of the darkest magic you’ll ever see! 

Crowd goes berserk!

Dark Magician bows six times and disappears behind the curtain.....

Thanks for your time and attention!

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Top image is from wikipedia