Interview With A Psychopath Episode 2 Zbigniew Brzezinski (satire)

In round 2 of Interview With A Psychopath, we dig into the dark heart of that robotic beast, Zbigniew Brzezinski.

 Corporate Reporter Stooge (bowing subserviently before taking his seat):  Good morning, Zbig.  Thank you so much for taking time to speak with me today.
 

Zbig (expressionless, robotic tone):  Don’t call me that.  You’re not important enough.  Call me sir.   

Corporate Reporter Stooge:  Yes, sir.  Well, to start things off, could you tell us a little bit about why you got involved in the diplomatic community?

Zbig:  Well, I’ve always been a control freak by nature.  I came to the realization at a very young age that more than ninety percent of the population is a bunch of dumb, stupid animals that must be tightly controlled.  So I figured that joining the psychopathic scientific dictatorship would be quite fulfilling.  Plus, the perks are nice.

Corporate Reporter Stooge:  Such as?

Zbig:  Being above the law always comes in handy, and the sex parties are unspeakably superb.

Corporate Reporter Stooge (fawning):  I can only imagine.

Zbig:  That’s for sure.

Corporate Reporter Stooge:  If I may, I’d like to move on to the current situation in Syria.  Can you touch on the reasons that the global oligarchy have decided to depose of President Assad?

Zbig:  Well, you’re well aware of the cover story, the typical bullshit story for the gullible masses that it’s for democracy and freedom.  In reality, we’ve been quite disappointed in Assad due to the fact that he’s not murderous enough.  Assad’s wife, who formerly worked for J.P. Morgan, assured us that he would play ball, but she was dead wrong, pun intended.  We think that the Muslim Brotherhood will be much more efficient at mass extermination.    

Corporate Reporter Stooge:  Powerful insight, sir, thank you.  While on the subject of the Middle East, could you give us a glimpse of what it was like to work with the Mujahideen and Osama bin-Laden?

Zbig:  It was a great honor to work with such narrow minded psychopaths.  It’s quite fascinating to see such hypocrisy on a grand scale, something I greatly enjoy and try to emulate.  For example, Osama and other hypocrites state publicly that they are devout Muslims and that they must destroy the West.  However, they party and do anything for a paycheck just like any other death cult member.  Kind of like any military organization.    

Corporate Reporter Stooge:  Did you party with them, sir?

Zbig (scoffing): Of course I did, don’t ask such ludicrous questions.  And I must say that Osama was a first rate womanizer and he should be respectfully remembered for that.

Corporate Stooge Reporter:  I could talk to you for hours.

Zbig:  But you won’t.  Let’s move this along.    

Corporate Stooge Reporter:  In your book, Between Two Ages, published in the 1970s, you state that, and I’m paraphrasing,  that we are moving into a more tightly controlled society, in which each individual’s data will be accessible to the authorities.  How did you see this so far in advance and can you comment on the progress of electronic totalitarianism? 

 Zbig:  Ahh, one of my favorite subjects.  Well, I knew that the Big Brother surveillance apparatus was being built back in the seventies.  A man of my enormous importance is privy to plans of global domination at least 30 years in advance of the ignorant proletariat.  I think a great deal of progress has been made to control people via data collection and algorithms, but we have much more work to do.  There is far too much freedom of speech.  There is a disturbing trend towards decentralization, cryptocurrencies for example.  This trend must be thwarted at all costs if we are to keep the slaves in line.

Corporate Reporter Stooge:  I couldn’t agree more, sir.  Do you ever find it hard to believe that so many people mindlessly give up their personal information?

Zbig (laughing malevolently and eye twitching):  Not at all! People do whatever the media says is trendy and convenient.  We have far too many psychological weapons aimed at the typical slave for him or her to have any chance of free and original thought, thus, perfect docile obedience is the outcome.    

Corporate Reporter Stooge:  I’d also appreciate your insight on the Internet Of Things.    

Zbig:  I look forward to the day when someone tries to order more milk on their smart fridge and, being over their monthly limit, receives an electric shock as carbon punishment.    

Corporate Reporter Stooge (whimsically):  I too will cherish that day.

Zbig (rolling his eyes):  You do realize that you don’t rank high enough in the pecking order and that you will be subject to such punishments as well.    

Corporate Reporter Stooge:  Yes, sir.  I’m a masochist.

Zbig:  Oh, very well.  I’m a sadist.  We should get together sometime.

Corporate Reporter Stooge:  Really?

Zbig (pointing and laughing):  Hell no.  Wow, you’re gullible.  How did you land this job?

Corporate Reporter Stooge (frowning):  My daddy got it for me.

Zbig:  Ahhh, that explains a lot.  You’re a spoiled little flunky bitch.

Corporate Reporter Stooge:  I suppose that’s accurate.  Kind of like your daughter Mika working for MSNBC.

Zbig:  Watch it, punk!

Corporate Reporter Stooge:  Also, how is your son Ian doing? Is he still working for the dark occultists at the Atlantic Council?

Zbig:  He is still an advisor on the council, yes.  I’m very proud of him for being such a prominent, yet obscure, member of the ruling elite. 

Corporate Reporter Stooge:  I’d like to turn now to Russia.  In your book Strategic Vision, you predict that Russia will join the European Union by the year 2050, but you don’t state as to how this will be accomplished.  Would you care to elaborate?

Zbig:  I suppose it will come about in the same manner as the European Union itself.  Through all out world war.  It’s a small price to pay for achieving further integration of a larger slave plantation.    

Corporate Reporter Stooge:  Well said.  Yes, sacrificing millions of lives so that tighter control can be placed on the masses is obviously virtuous.

Zbig:  I couldn’t agree more.  I really must be going.  I have a video conference with ISIS in a few minutes.    

Corporate Reporter Stooge:  Oh, ISIS, how exciting! And what may I ask is the purpose of the meeting?

Zbig:  Well, to be frank, they’re not being brutal enough in their intimidation tactics.  I’m going to give them a refresher course on proper torture techniques.    Also, we're going to organize our New Year's bash with Putin, some Israeli oligarchs, and Erik Prince, among others.

Corporate Reporter Stooge:  You are such a master of the universe.

Zbig:  Someone’s got to do it.  Lord knows people can’t rule themselves.

Corporate Reporter Stooge:  One last question, if I may.  How do you balance your time between so many global think tanks, like the Council On Foreign Relations, The Trilateral Commission, The Atlantic Council, National Endowment For Democracy, and the Bilderberg Group?

Zbig:  That’s simple.  I don’t have to spend all day working for peanuts and fretting about making ends meet like most of the slaves out there, so I have ample time to plot and scheme with my psychopathic brethren.    

Corporate Reporter Stooge:  I envy you so much.   

Zbig:  You’re quite pathetic.

To learn about the real Zbigniew Brzezinski and the organizations he’s been affiliated with:
 http://www.atlanticcouncil.org/
 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zbigniew_Brzezinski
 http://www.the-american-interest.com/2016/04/17/toward-a-global-realignment/
 https://www.scribd.com/document/77129930/Zbigniew-Brzezinski-Balancing-the-East-Upgrading-the-West-U-S-Grand-Strategy-in-an-Age-of-Upheaval
 http://trilateral.org/
 http://www.ned.org/
 http://www.cfr.org/