You’re an exceptional writer. Why won’t people read your shit?

Spoiler: You’re masturbating in public.

Photo by Deon Black on Unsplash

I adore words. I write because the feel of language structure knocking off the inner lining of my skull brings a satisfaction that I legitimately require to experience happiness.

One BIGASS problem: That opening sentence sucks for a reader. My extreme niche of kink writing is gatekeeping most of the population.

It’s all just authorial masturbation. Online writers often mistake beautiful words for useful thoughts. Sure, you’re able to say “while the zest on the palette invoked sublime revelations, the fortitude of the nutriment exhibited tendencies of stiff tenacity”. I bet you got a brain boner just for understanding all those words.

But all you’re telling people is “my steak was tough, and butter+salt tastes good”. You’ve walked into the street to yell, “I’m a kinky fucker who loves to feel smart, and I don’t care that you don’t care.”

Bad. Stop it.

Most ideas, once understood, are painfully simple. All your readers want to know is “how do I feel good?” Money, Power, Sex, Relationships, Religion, Politics, Drugs, Sports; It’s all just chasing the good chemicals. Sure, you can add layers of ‘pursuing the divine’ or ‘optimizing loadout’. The motivation is still the same. ‘I want to know more, so I can feel good more often’.

To keep the sex analogy going, you’re looking to have simple, consensual intercourse with your reader. You want them to know that they’re safe, and you respect their questions. Don’t immediately break out the whips and handcuffs of your thesaurus. Sure, keep your silk ropes in good condition. Make sure to polish your dildo collection. But don’t open the door to your metaphorical sex dungeon without the express permission of your reader. They should have a general idea of what’s in the basement LONG before they see the staircase.

Pictured: a terrible first impression.

As a writer, it’s your responsibility to get your message to the reader as smoothly as possible. If a person wants to learn, really learn, they go to the teachers who make ideas simple.

Richard Feynman (brilliant physicist, professor, and a pioneer of quantum mechanics) developed his own technique to accomplish deeper understanding of any topic:
STEP 1: Choose a concept.
STEP 2: Teach the concept to a child.
STEP 3: As the child asks questions, find gaps in your knowledge.
STEP 4: Review the source material and simplify your explanation.

These same concepts should be used in your writing as well. People are there to hear your message. If the first thing you do is whip out all your dirty synonyms, many will be (understandably) too shocked to listen. Simplicity should be your mainstay.

Seriously. Keep the basement locked.

“If you can’t explain it to a six-year-old, you don’t understand it yourself.”
-Albert Einstein-

There are dozens of intellectuals who preach this idea, and whole branches of philosophy that teach the concept. I’ll leave off with my favorite quote by the author of The Little Prince.

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery-

Let’s be better to each other (and our readers). We still have a chance.