A Road I'm Walking (Freewrite)

I don't know why it is that I came here.

I was just walking.

And walking.

And walking.

And suddenly my life brought me to a strange path where people are looking down on me. Their eyes, I feel them like little stones raining over my naked body. Bruising me, cutting me, open me up and blood coming out of my wounds.

You know it's hard to see your blood flowing, forming rivers all over you. Getting to the ground. Your feet and toes floating in a little red pool. Sweat and tears, that's all you've got left. 

Sweat from the struggle to stand tall in front of them. Tears as you mourn for the lost battle, the lost pieces of you that you had to cut out because you wanted to fit in... but that was not enough. 

Deformed, adjusted to suit their needs, but still... 

Still too little for them. 

Still not good enough, not unrecognizable enough from the person you once were before you decided to walk on the path they showed you. Before you decided to walk along with them and away from yourself.

So many scars, but they still want more.  And they stone you and you bleed but they are still not happy. They will not be happy, no matter how much you give, no matter if your whole body dries up and has no more blood to give them .

Their scheme will never be complete as they will keep throwing and throwing those rocks against you, because the little pebbles and stones eventually become rocks, big ones. They are many times greater than the size of you. And the hits you would take easily at first start hurting way too much.

And the rocks that bang against your tormented body finally manage to bury down your soul.

It was the only one you thought was strong, but in the end they'll get to bury it too.

Unless...

Unless you decide to change your course of the road.

You sweat no more for them, but for you.

No more to become who they want you to be, but who you have always dreamed of becoming.

And the tears.

The tears are those you shed because of joy, because you're letting go of them and finally you get to shape yourself the way you want it to be.

You cry because you're finally free from them. 

And you bleed no more.

A piece I wrote today after class, in the car, with the windows down. Warm air coming in, bouncing back from the blocks of flats around me and passers-by walking past me and looking at me writing things down on a small, pink notebook with a silly teddy bear on.

A piece full of symbolisms of the struggle, the never ending anxiety to live up to the world's expectations, to amputate your will, dreams and aspirations; to be what they want you to be, society, family, friends, your bosses, your lovers.

Freedom?

Only comes when you manage to say NO and decide to be the master of yourself and not being dragged around by others.

It's not disobedience I'm talking about, not anarchy, not chaos.

It's just your right to be yourself. Follow your dreams. Become a better you. Learn your strengths. Accept your weaknesses and live.

Live and let live.

*Original story and images by @ruth-girl - Steemit, 2018

Thank you so much for your time!

Until my next post,
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