My Best Job Interview

Being handy with tools I applied for a job as a siding applicator. I put together a half assed resume with some decent exaggerations and glossed over years of no work history with some bullshit about running my own business.

The add didn't list any qualifications, so I figured this shits mine. She quickly scanned the resume and then asked, "do you have any experience?"

I told her I'd worked construction all my life and siding wouldn't be a big deal. She responded by saying, "siding is an art and not just anyone can side."

Mistake!

I reached across her desk, grabbed my resume crumpled it up, flipped it over my shoulder into the cubicle behind me and told her, in no uncertain terms, that; Picasso is art, da Vinci is Art, The Velvet Underground is art and Henry "fucking" Miller is art. Siding is not art!

Feeling my statement required additional exclamation, I slammed the doors on my way out and launched my Ford F-150 4x4 down the Ave, screeched around the corner and skidded to a stop on the street in front of their office building which featured a very large picture window.

In the truck with me was a 32 ounce Big Gulp cola minus one or two sips. Blocking one lane of traffic, I jumped out, stepped in front of the mirrored one way window, smiled, waved and launched the Big Gulp against the glass.

The next day they changed the advertisement by adding "two years experience required" and 20 years later I'm still afraid to interview for another job.