you will be comfortable with me.

in #writing7 years ago

 

         

           I'll make you raspberry tea and bake chocolate biscuits when you're sad, wrap you in a blanket and hug you if you freeze, tell you how wonderful you are and kiss the corners of your lips when you lose faith in yourself. I will read to you aloud or tell all sorts of stupid stories to entertain and make you laugh, I will wash your things with a soft conditioner with the smell of lavender, so that you will remember me all day. I will quietly sleep in your half of the bed when you return from another business trip. and I'm sure I'll see you in a dream. I'll knit warm things for you so that you wear them in the cold season. I hope they will be even warmer from my affection for you.

           I will not be angry, I will also be angry with you when you again forget to congratulate me on some holiday and will be offended if you ignore me. I will cry when you again feel cold about me and worry about the words you told me or, worse, did not say. I will scream, call off and say all kinds of offensive things, but then I'll ask for forgiveness. and, of course, I'll forgive you. I'm screaming and swearing for a reason, and from the pain languid and sickening in my chest, it just drives me crazy. I'm like a small child, who lacks attention and love. when you do not remind me that you need me, I feel so abandoned and forgotten by all children.

do not forget about me, please.

and then, I promise, I'll bake cookies again, make tea for us and turn on our favorite songs and we'll just sit in the kitchen looking at each other and think what idiots we are if we spend our precious time on stupid wrangling, and after all it is never enough for us. and I'll just look at you and thank the universe for this happiness - just be here right now, next to you,
to look at you,
to love you.

I promise, albeit not always, albeit with interruptions to infrequent bursts of emotion and clarification of relationships,
but,
you will certainly be comfortable with me.

because I really want this. 

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