Is There A Right Time to Tell the Love of Your Life She Has Shitty Breath?

in #writing7 years ago

So I was on a date, right? With the most beautiful girl in the world, right? She was playing footsie with me all night bro. Could definitely tell she was into my style and giant jew nose, right!? We was eating tons of good shit right. Gourmet raisin bran on deck, yo. Finally she comes in closer for the good ol' smoochy smooch. And I noticed this ghastly green gas coming from her mouth... Do I suck it up and kiss her? Or do I do the gentlemanly thing and bounce before our lips can touch? I spend like Forever (shout out to my main homie Drake, yo) trying to think of excuses not to kiss this broad. Suddenly, I realize she's the love of my life. I imagine us living together, raising kids, going to their shitty baseball games. Her eyes glow at me as she moves her shit breath closer to me. What am I supposed to do?!

I suck it up and kiss the living shit out of her sewage mouth. Her toxic breath wrapped around my head and poisoned me with love. A love so great and disgustingly pure. Tears stream down our faces. Her make up got super fucked; she looked like a clown. She's the one... I love her.

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