I Am A "Not-A-Writer" Writer and How You Can Be One Too!
Weird thing to say.
You see, I don't like the (sadly true) stereotype of your typical writer. Boring, pretentious, intellectual. No real life experiences. He perceives the world through his pen and paper. Oh no no, that's not a good thing my man.
I don't like "writing" culture. I don't have fancy notebooks and super awesome editing software. I don't stop in the middle of a club to write down an idea about my nobody-will-read-it-novel. I don't watch other writer's vlogs and I hate "how to write a good arc" guide, like I hate 7 year old fat kids.
Being a writer was never my dream. I randomly started writing a random post about a random company and I haven't stopped since. Sure, I have some boring, unfinished childhood stories, the ones only 12 year olds can write. They're awful by the way. But even then, I did it because it was FUN.
FUN motherfuckers. Ahh, we all need more of it. Anyway.
Yes, as I was saying, your typical writer is a falsely perceived ideal of a writer. An armchair theorist, that doesn't understand the world.
How can you write about love if you haven't loved? How can you write about suffering if you haven't suffered? How can you write about grit if you haven't been punched in the face?
Writers today do it backwards. They write down imaginery experiences and they try to live them afterwards, through their words. A life of pen and paper.
You must feel the scent of a woman on your pillow, your face hurting from a drunken guy's punch, your stomach turning from the thought of death, your mind spinning from the possibility of eviction.
No, you prick. Not because you can't use your imagination, not because you owe it to your audience to have the experience, but because you owe to yourself fucking moron.
I don't like writers, because I love them.
But you are fucking everything up. You are supposed to be people larger than life. You've ended up being the mass produced spectacle of the freak experiment that is postmodern academia.
Dude, seriously...
How to be a "Not-A-Writer" Writer"
Well, is super easy.
L I V E
Ha! The answer is always simple.
Let your life be your life and writing be the medium with which you express yourself and not the other way around.
AND I'd say, more experiences, less books.
Go out there.
Get shitfaced.
Get lost in a foreign country.
Make some money.
Get chased by an angry mob.
Embrace the rejection of a beautiful girl...and try again!
Have friends for one night.
Spend your rent in a casino.
Be homeless.
DO IT
DO IT
DO IT
DO.
- Thatredbeardguy