Watch what you think
First, let me say I am not a jealous person so I put myself in check as being paranoid. This paranoia is more about what appears to be an attempt to lower the playing field by a mutual friend.
My question is how do you know when you are just being paranoid and when someone is truly moving in on you. What I mean by that is well you’ll understand once I tell my story. My friend, I'll call Mary to protect her identity after all it could be my overactive imagination here.
I like this definition of paranoia for this weekend event: suspicion and mistrust of people or their actions without evidence or justification.
My husband and I spent the weekend at her place, which was a great stopover serene, quiet and perfect weather. We were considering relocating and helping her develop her homestead since it is so lovely. This is part of the reason for the visit.
Turns out she is as hyper as my husband, always busy rushing around clearing land or doing something. If you met me you would see I am more laid back.
This could have been part of a plan or my paranoia you decide. When I used to watch television there was a channel targeted for women called Lifetime. All the dramas were basically the same setup family with a bad babysitter planning to knock off the unsuspecting wife. Another example was a secretary whose boss was someone with a family and the wife had to be gotten rid of by either showing the wife as incompatible or just killing her. The husband was always the unsuspecting actor in these scenarios on television.
A few facts of the incidents leading me to possible paranoia or being in a scene on TV.
Let’s take a walk around
We are visiting and Mary says let’s walk around my property there are some rocks out here really old back to the Indian days. The invite is directed to my husband since they are out walking on the property. I overhear and decide to go then suddenly she decides she was to show the perimeter of the property. She is walking quickly and unlike her, I am without the footwear for cactus, rattlesnakes, rocks, and stickers.
Mary sees me removing thorns out of my cloth tennis shoes and asks if I would like to turn back without them. My husband turns to check on me and that is when she says here we are at the rock getting his attention. This is where she picks up the pace.
Once we near the edge of a drop off I want to turn back but figure I would probably just get lost and look incompetent. It is getting darker by the minute.
At this point I start thinking and know it is not true, however, I entertain the thought she might like if I fell off the edge of the boulder, like on one of the Lifetime Television movies.
Flashlights anyone
We decide to bake potatoes in the fire pit back on the property and they are gathering sticks. I am supposed to show her how we prepare the potatoes as I posted in an earlier post.
She leaves the kitchen and I am left with the task because her and my husband are now building the fire. Once the potatoes are wrapped in foil I head out unable to see my way it is pitch dark. Suddenly I see two headlamps beaming toward me. They are both wearing she found him one but I am out of luck.
Immediately I head back in and get the flashlight I brought with me and feel I fouled the plan or am I being paranoid I ask myself of her wanting me to be unable to maneuver in the dark.
My toothbrush is outside
I ask my husband to get my toothbrush out of the car and she follows him out the door. Then I hear him say he has something to show her. The door shuts and I sit alone in the dark living room.
As I say I am not the jealous type but do feel put out like someone left out. So I decided to clear some glasses and head off to bed.
The front door suddenly opens and she comes over and says he wanted to show me the star constellation orion. (Right now I can’t remember which one.)
Overactice imagination
Anyway, we are not moving out there and I thought I would share this story with you and see if I had an overactive imagination.
Here is the potato recipe I posted about 5 months ago when it was warm.
Photo credits
1 Kristina Flour
2 Ivana Cajina
3 Chad Maden
Hmmm without being with you during the whole situation it is very hard to decide anything, and I think perhaps it is also unnecessary to decide if you are paranoid or if your friend really wanted to harm you/ your relationship. I think it is sufficient that you felt bad. This is never a good sign. And I think it could be helpful to speak with your husband, why he acted like he did (went with your friend outside and left you alone). Because in my opinion it is not so important how your girlfriend behaves, but how your husband reacts.
If your girlfriend is also very close to you, maybe a conversation could help to understand her motives for behaving strangely. And it could be interesting to compare her behaviour with other situations. Has she betrayed you already or is she normally a very trustworthy person?
(if she is not close to you, I would forget the whole thing and never visit her again)
I hope I my English is not to confused and bad… and I could get my point across. I hope you do no longer feel sad about this situation
Your English is excellent @neumannsalva. It is good you speak more than one language. Well, my husband and I had many discussions. I think he liked the attention and apologized to me. We had not seen her in years so it is not someone we visit often. All is well and you are right my husband has to be held to a high accountability. It is okay now. I should say this is the first time we have seen her in years.
Happy to hear you could solve it. I find such situation emotionally taxing and I hate to let them simmer...
And yes, being able to speak multiple language is so helpful. Sadly, I can only read and write English, you do not want to hear me talk. 😄 I have many friends who do so good with languages, me not so. Maybe my attitude is not so helpful: I want to speak perfectly and before I manage this, I just don't speak 😅😅
Intuition tells it all. It wouldn’t be kicking in if you weren’t aware that something is not right. I personally, don’t think you are getting much out of your relationship with “Mary”. 🐓🐓
Exactly... I very seldom speak with her on the phone. She lives at a distance. I agree with you.
Human instinct is a powerful tools, be aware of it and follow it.
I agree with some, communication is the key to your relationship, we will always have interference from outside, as long as both willing to communicate, you can just laugh about the incidence after that. I do.
Cheers!
I like what you said...at first not too much laughter about it..haha!
We do have a wonderful relationship, my husband and I but with her, I think she is wanting to be more friends with him than me.
Since both of you already discuss it openly, I think he should know what to do... hahaha!
LOL you got it!
LOL!
Listen to your intuition. Always.
agreed as women we have an astounding amount of it.
This is a perfect example of listening to that inner voice. You obviously picked up on something. Go with your gut instinct. Always.
Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean they're NOT out to get me.
I think you may have picked up on exactly the right thing there. Great instincts.
I listen to you ... like one your characters lol
Haha! Trev and I were talking... St Valentines Day brings back a few memories... I'll write up a version of it tomorrow... see i it's true or not :)
And then you'll see if this story fits with mine (Spoiler - it could)
I don't think its an overactive imagination. May be when you are possessive about someone you start imagining weird stuff about them, which is very normal. And true sometime at least in my case; lol. I think communication and having a healthy conversation can surpass this paranoid thing.
I agree with you. I am not possessive but do not like to feel left out. Probably something from when I was a kid. lol I did have a communication with my husband but felt it unnecessary to have one with Mary because really at this point it is of no consequence. I did feel a little anger arising when I wrote this blog. :)
Your anger is very much justified @rebeccabe. I know how much does it hurt when feeling left out ; either when its done intentionally or non intentionally. Perhaps, women are more emotional and quiet judgemental when it comes to their spouse. We won't think same for our brother or father or may be cousin. Right? I myself, sometimes feel so lonely and left out even if i am sitting in a gathering. I think people who isolates themselves from childhood are more prone to such thoughts. That's my experience. Good luck to you !
you put into words quite well. thank you
You're wonderful woman I'll highlight this post to my wife thank you.
thank you for the compliment and for the intro to your wife.
I see no paranoia, but rather a well explained situation which merits caution. I once saw this very same thing and won't elaborate on details, but suffice to say it indeed went to a different level. Go with your gut instinct. Honest people are few.
Yes, I think some people are able to feel out situations before they get out of hand.
I get paranoid when while smoking weed in a forest there happens to be a sound of something moving through branches. Although I know it's probably some animal, I still get uncomfortable.
Thanks for sharing!
LOL we were not smoking anything.
maybe you should not smoke in the forest.
Hehe. But I do like that feeling afterwards when everything turns out to be alright :D
i know that what types you are.... you writing skill so good great post...
thank you