LSD - First time down the rabbit hole

I have tried to put into words what happened during the fifteen most intense minutes of my first LSD trip. Anyone that has taken psychedelics knows that it's very hard or even impossible describing what has happened afterwards. It is just impossible to put everything that happens into words, but I have done my best to give you a sense of what my experience was like.

I laid down on the blanket and looked up at the sky, which all of a sudden looked strangely unfamiliar, like it was alive and had a mind of it's own. The sky was all covered with large colorful clouds, that were flowing and swirling in a mesmerizing, beautiful way. It gave me a sense of inner peace and happiness.

A man was dancing in the sky. He turned into a ancient warrior. An archer, a sword-man, a guardian. He moved around and showed me different stances, like he was trying to tell me something. The clouds changed colors and floated across the sky, at an ever so increasing speed. All of a sudden, a hole in the clouds opened up and I could see the stars.

Behind the stars everything was dark, a complete and utter darkness which I didn't even knew existed. As I looked up at this darkness, the universe dropped down towards me at great speed. I felt it in my stomach, like I was being dropped from great height, like on a huge, never ending roller coaster. I felt infinitely small and I got the feeling that I was going to disappear into the darkness, into the void. But just as fast as the universe had dropped towards me, it retreated. The hole in the clouds closed, and I went back to looking at the man in the sky.

I laid there on the blanket all by by self, and in a way I wanted to be alone. I enjoyed it. Everything was beautiful and I felt an inner peace. I closed my eyes and saw a beautiful, complex world of geometrical shapes and endless patterns that were forever repeating themselves. When I opened my eyes I could still see the colorful clouds and the man in the sky, but after a while the two started to merge together. Soon it became difficult to know when my eyes were open, and when they were closed...

My inner peace faded, and my mind started working… Time had passed, what felt like at least a few hours or maybe more. I thought about all the people that were passing by, and that no one had talked to me or checked up on me. I couldn't understand why my friends hadn't returned to me... I was getting anxious and uncomfortable. Here I was, completely and utterly alone... More alone than I had ever been in my entire life.

I could hardly feel my body and I didn't know if I was awake or not, if I would die, or if I was already dead... As the fear grew in my mind, I felt my body dissolving and breaking up into million different pieces that drifted farther and farther away from me. I tried to hold on to whatever I could, but it was impossible. I could no longer feel my body, and I wasn't even sure if I had ever had a body. Everything I knew was fading away, and I didn't know how to stop it...

Suddenly everything started to make sense and I stopped fighting the inevitable. For some reason it didn't matter if it was dangerous or not, I just knew there were no reason to be afraid... I let go of my last known bit of this world, and everything I knew fell apart. I left the remaining parts of my body and went into the void...

Everything turned white. A bright white, crystal clear, beautiful light filled every corner of the void. I felt everything and noting at once. I saw everything and noting simultaneously. I didn't exist anymore, instead I felt like everything - every person, every animal, every tree and every living being. Nothing existed, but at the same time everything existed as a whole. Everything was nothing and nothing was everything. I saw several sunrises, I felt eternity, I was gone forever...

Seconds later, without any warning, I was being shoved back into my body. I was extremely confused, not able to understand what had just happened. But knew I was me, and I knew who me was.. I opened my eyes and felt unbelievably euphoric and I felt more alive than ever before!