Not purposefully, no - The intention is always good, but we just don't get how it turns everything bad ultimately - because we are not being real with people and therefore ourselves. It's that weird obsession with wanting to cure tension and friction before it even arises that creates resentment. And nice guys just don't see it.

My comment stems alrgely from being overly nice to women when approaching them (you could say being ULTRAPOLITE) and by that making everything turn awkward involuntarily every time (because it shows lack of self-worth and self-confidence). Took me years to figure out that "being super nice" was actually the opposite of what the women in my life wanted - no need to be an asshole or rude or anything like that (I hate being an asshole to people in general), but firmness and being determined are the masculine qualities that are required (assertion and direction) and these qualities come naturally if the conditioning wasn't in the way and we weren't all up in our heads all the time.

You tell me if you'd rather have a man in your life or a doormat.

The idea of stepping into and enjoying tension really was a lifesaver for me on an intellectual level and I highly recommend it to all the men out there who want to be nice - you CAN, just not through losing your spine. Same applies to mostly any social situation apart from dealing with the opposite sex - friends, work, success.

Brian put it rather well in this short vid:

Always a pleasure exploring my mind with ya hun, thanks!