I still listen to your silence...

Some days you don't talk at all and I still listen to the screeches that your silence has been causing.

Some days we laugh out too loud and look straight into each other's eyes just to realise that a moment like this would never repeat.

And I say I love you's in a thousand ways,
Although I don't know if you really notice.
I wake up to your face every day and kiss you in your forehead,
I wrap my love in lunch bags and send them to you.
Some days, I hug you a little too tightly just so that you don't leave.

And the days when we drunk dance on Boom Clap and Ed's Perfect and you look at me and kiss my lips—it's everything, everything.

I hear you when you want to talk and I hear all those unsaid rumblings inside your head.

And to love you is a difficult thing, but relief and peace is something that you don't find everywhere.

I find relief in your arms every night.

But you see, I have made many mistakes and you measure people by the number of mistakes that they commit and I, I judge them by their regrets and the honesty with which they are trying to be a better person. We are different in so many ways.

So I will pack my love in longer embraces, good night kisses, calls and texts, the responsibilities that I take, drunk dances and singing your favorite punjabi songs, wearing your t-shirts and so many different things.

And I forgot to tell you that I miss you even when you are around, and I read your texts often and smile and at night when you sleep, I talk to you for a long long time but I know you don't want to hear it because this time, I am not the victim—this time I have broken your heart apart.

So I will say I love you's in so many ways but I will never say "I love you" aloud because this time you don't care at all. This time it's just another shout in the void. This time I say those words with all the pain and regret and with all my heart but you hear it like it was another hollow meaningless promise floating in some nook of the universe, trying to shatter your faith and hope apart.

—#theycanttrustyouagain