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RE: A World Long Sundered -- Chapter 4 PART 2
You are developing a rhythm and pace to the story that moves it along nicely. With the new developments, adding layers to the already established story line, yet the sense of mystery and intrigue remains. I'm enjoying reading this.
PS (editor here) - I will point out one line from earlier in the piece:
Later, Riggs would wonder if it really had been spider silk
That line throws the reader, as it isn't at the same time as the story. If something happens later, perhaps best to explain it later, or work it into the current thought process so it fits (without the "later"). Does that make sense?
I certainly hope I am able to continue the rhythm with this story. I see your point with that sentence, it kinda breaks up the flow and gives the reader "assurance" that Riggs will be around later, which perhaps is not a guarantee I want to give the reader just now haha. Makes sense, thank you for that.
I have had some feedback from a certain distinguished editor cough @rhondak cough saying that she thinks that the entire chapter 4 would be a better first chapter for the entire novel. I think she has a valid point here. What do you think?
It's a good question about order and flow. It would be easier to know by taking a bigger picture perspective, and that probably requires having the whole novel in front of one. This is the nature of the first draft, which most works here are. Editing comes after. I know we generally try to at least publish something that is polished to some degree, but structure can often need reorganising after the fact.
The original opening chapter presented a sense of mystery. But that can still be maintained elsewhere. Honestly, I don't know off the top of my head. By if the editor is making suggestions, then as authors we should listen seriously to that advice :)
Yes, I agree about taking the editors seriously. However, I find myself wanting to write in the style of some of the "brick" fantasy novels (the 700+ page ones). I grew up reading, Robert Jordan, Terry Goodkind, Raymond E. Feist, Frank Herbert etc. So, my writing tends to be long, which is rather problematic for publishers, at least mainstream ones.
I know the books you mean. As writers I suppose we have to start somewhere. But I wouldn't want to discourage ones full creative expressions. Who knows - perhaps learn to write well in both ways. Full length like you enjoy, with its broad expressive approach, and also learn to edit (or allow to be edited) to a style that is still very readable but also more publishable for up and comers.