Diary of A Modern Man: Entry #14 (Powerup Post)

Friday 22nd April - The Diary of A Modern Man.

I was at work today speaking with Steve. We were having a laugh and just joking around, and it came up that he was gay. I'm worried that my reaction went against me. It totally doesn't bother me that he's gay. I don't have any issue with that; but it did surprise me. I had absolutely no idea and so it really caught me off guard. I don't even think I reacted badly, in fact I don't think I even reacted.

I really hope he doesn't think any less of me because of the way I reacted. I know some people can be very insecure about sexuality, and I just hope that Steve didn't read too much into it. It's a shame I feel like I need to be this careful with it.

Emma B, from university, messaged me out of the blue the other day. Mentioned splitting up with her boyfriend. I think it's safe to say I don't care anymore. I still really like her as a friend, and honestly believe I will always have a slight soft spot for her, but she just frustrates me now. More than anything I just feel sorry for her boyfriend; mainly, when she mentions it to me, she talks about wanting sex with other people rather than emotions. I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse.

I actually think that the soft spot I have for her is similar to the one I had for Alice last summer. The soft spot only existed with Alice because I couldn't have her when I wanted her. As soon as that changed the soft spot disappeared. Truly meaningless.

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