Self Control

I often find myself doing my utmost to quell my inner darkness.
You see it tends to try to writhe its way out on a daily basis.
And of course more often then not I succeed quite well.
I do this only to find myself heavily disappointed that I succeed.
There is always a moment when I try to contain it when I think "Oh yes today's the day it gets free...finally.".
But then of course it remains inside hidden deep down.
I know what your thinking, if I want it so bad just let it out.
And while I would love for nothing more I cannot.
Though sometimes when it really wants out I utterly fail to contain it.
And I love it! Finally it's free and I don't care anymore, finally it can wreak havoc on all who deserve it, and finally I can sink into the warm comfortable darkness I have belonged to since birth!
How appealing and rapturous a moment when I know it's free and I can't stop it even if I wanted to.
If only I could live in that moment forever!
But alas that mustn't be so and I find myself daydreaming about the next glimpse of freedom it steals.
Waiting, always waiting for its next debut.