Grey Area

I am torn in half.
The two sides of me always clashing.
I'm wretched and divine.
Half of me wants to be selfless, caring, helpful, and polite. And that half of me always is. That half causes me to strive to be a paragon of all that is good. A true hero.
But the other half....malicious, angry, petty, and hate filled. Now that half wants to be evil. It wants to breathe smoke and kill something beautiful. No, it needs to burn people down and gain pleasure from their sorrow.
But neither half ever wins....no matter how badly I wanna be evil I can't. And when I decide to be a saint I just can't. It's odd really I'm stuck in this grey area. Never being particularly good at either good or evil. I often wonder what that makes me.
I hope one day to end this war and yet I fear its results. Oh well I guess I'll always be this way grey and stuck in the middle.
I guess I'm destined to be boring and neutral.