Madame B. sat, reclining in her chair, looking at a spot of sunlight that was playing on the wall. Several concerns wobbled her mind at the same time. Some of them were small: responding to client emails, buying groceries, creating a flier for her presentation in a psychological society next month. All these tasks required some footwork and percolated in a shallow level of awareness. However, among them, there was one that had much greater emotional depth and therefore commanded a disproportional amount of attention. The thought overflowed her mind, squashing all other concerns into a stack of pancakes. 

The name of this customer was Samuel. He lived through a difficult divorce with a beloved wife, who in addition to leaving him also carnivorously cleaned his assets in a divorce settlement. He appeared devastated, lost and extremely depressed. Madame B. had the impression that his condition ran much deeper than caused solely by a rejection of a woman and a loss of funds. Yet, while their sessions were within the constraints of “Astrocenter” the organization where Madame B. worked at a time, she wasn’t able to penetrate into the problem deeper than he was sharing. Trusting her intuition, Madame B, offered Samuel private sessions at a much lower rate than the one he was paying to the organization. As he gladly agreed, she ran his astrological chart, which added a new and a much more gruesome overtone to the picture of his disease.  As Madame B. looked at Samuels’ chart, it became tangibly clear to her that he suffered from rejection. 

As this usually was the case, astrological charts spoke to her - pictures appeared, stringed together into a movie like sequences, which gave her an intuitive knowledge of what has happened in the client’s life. She wasn’t aware of how these thoughts or picture sequences appeared in her mind so instantly, without slow grinding study. To her, this came naturally, like breathing, drinking, or swallowing.

She envisioned how this perpetual rejection ignited in him a hypertrophic yearning for acceptance. This drive initiated from not being accepted by his mother and not recognized by his father. (In his later confession, Samuel admitted that he was cast by both parents and, for all intents and purposes, was an orphan.)  Samuel had a very violent father, who sexually abused every made that was working in the house. Thus, Samuel had close to 20 siblings all from different mothers. 

In addition to sexual abuse, the man was beating us those women and well as their “bastards.” Being a very important government official in Khartoum, Sudan, he had the license to go about his household life as he pleased. 

The image of a father that was such a demon has become the ghost that haunted Samuel all his life. He was waking up at night, screaming. His father was a big man and Samuel was always intimidated by big men who he perceived as father figures that were going to punish him. 

Samuel left Sudan when he was still very young, escaping the civil war. A string of lucky synchronicities (as he put it) brought him to a very successful, by American standards, life – he graduated from the top college, had two master's degrees, worked as a top executive in many well know banks, became a member of privileged private clubs, had a great house, a beautiful wife and two adorable children.  

Yet deep down inside he always felt like a failure. Many times intellectual or emotional pressure brought him to a psychological breakdown: Samuel was losing sleep, had constant nightmares and even out of body experiences. He thought he was losing his mind. Several times he was admitted to the hospital and lived constantly on heavy antidepressant medications. Those medications and the fact he was a very sports oriented person literally kept him alive. The divorce, however, has become the last straw. When Madame B. met him the first time he reminded her of a zombie.

 

“Can you help me?” desperation was in his eyes; not the one that is treated with the gun barrel, but its dull, murky and helpless variety. Back then, during their first meeting, Madame B. told him “I think I can help you, but it won’t be simple.” He was apprehensive to believe her as he was seeing doctors and healers all over the world. Yet, he clung to her promise as his last outpost of hope.  And now she was sitting in a chair, reliving their initial meeting, and reflecting. The entire experience filled her mind like a large bitter fruit swallowed in its entirety and stuck in a throat at an awkward angle.  ‘Could I really do it?’ In her professional career, she never met a depression case before in such an advanced stage, and the upcoming struggle and the possibility of the victory excited her. Part 2 As far as the treatment methodology was concerned, Madame B. always did more or less the same thing - enter aura and painting the colors where they are supposed to be in a healthy aura, regardless of how hard this was. However, for each client, this process turned out to be different. 

 

Samuel already practiced meditation and could relax his mind. Thus, Madame B. could easily access his astral plane, at least, its upper part – whites, blues and even greens. 

However, his lower chakras were inaccessible. It looked quite different from, for example, those auras of people who were on crack or cocaine. Those were filled with artificial colors in psychedelic formations and were simply out of place. In Samuel’s case, he was heavily medicated, and in place of yellows, oranges and reds there was some dirty murky swill. All attempts to paint the placeholder in proper colors were in vain.  During subsequent sessions, Madame B. told Samuel that he had to start releasing medications in order to get healed. They agreed that this could be done in only in a very gradual way. A person on anti-depressants couldn’t just stop them completely and abruptly. Because he spent the most of his life being medicated, he had to be left with at least a very minimal dose. As the dosage was slowly reduced, Madame B. started seeing the difference in his aura. 

The other therapeutic option was to let him speak out. Often people have no one to talk to and a part of spiritual healer task is to simply become a client’s audience. So Madame B. always welcomed client sharing or even ranting. Their subsequent sessions with Samuel brought forward many new circumstances that exacerbated his depression. In his life, there were many what he called synchronicities. They could have been viewed as lucky breaks if not for the fact that each of them pulled Samuel in a new direction putting on him more and more internal pressure, making him feel like a deep water fish taken to a surface. 

To read the Part 2 please click here