Journaling For Journaling So I can Journal About Journaling
I started reading a new book today.
It's about Harriet Tubman, no that white lady who really likes cooking. Oh geez, you know the one, she likes to cook french food. I think you understand me.
Well this lady really liked to journal. I think it was her husband who got her into it. The two of them would write letters upon letters to each other and friends ... and then years later she came back, read all of the letters and wrote a book about it ... I thought that was pretty cool so here goes.
I went for a bike ride this morning ... I can't remember exactly where it was (lol that's not the best attitude). I've been smoking a lot of weed recently so my memory is definitely not the best ... and then these days seem to meld into one another. It's like I'm in groundhog day ... so many things, repeating themselves day after day.
Well I started my day answering customers who were slightly angry with me ... I had done a poor job of explaining that I was not the right person to ask questions to. I quickly explained that and then they stopped asking me questions! My days start off in a strange way. My business is back in Georgia and therefor exists in a different time dimension than mine. ... when I wake up these people have already been busy for hours and hours. So I hop out of bed and then go on about my day ... oh wait, thats not actually how it happens at all. I usually wake up, answer texts and phone calls in a semi conscious state, and then smoke weed / drink coffee / start my day. It's always just about the same. One large cup of coffee, smoke a bowl of weed, do some yoga or journaling and then get started with my work (for the second time).
I like taking breaks ... and I tend to take a lot of them. I had to get some supplies for a project I'm working on. I've been commissioned to build an exercise / play area for one very energetic bengal cat. It seems that all bengals are energetic, something about their breed. But this one happens to have a very caring owner and she has hired me to build something for her pussy ... cat :P
I needed to get some supplies, like I said, so I hopped on my bike and went down to the hardware store. The individual who was working there is very nice, they happen to have a no entry policy if you are not wearing a mask so she got the things I needed and rung everything up.
I was able to fit everything in my bag and went on with my exploration. I ended up down by the river ... the weather is SO nice right now in Portland. I'm really enjoying my time here. It has been raining for the past three days so the sun today offered a wonderful respite from the more normal, grey and dreary, weather. I've heard that this is what it is normally like here in the Spring and early Summer and must say that I am very much looking forward to more of this climate.
I ended up taking a brief dip in the river ... the water is perfect right now, albeit probably a bit polluted, but the temperature is divine. A quick swim and some treading water, great for the spirit ... and sore limbs! Prior to getting to the river I stumbled upon a little gold mine... there is a commercial building down by the water front that happens to house a group of carpenters. Working independently it seems they all are into woodworking ... AND they just had a vacancy open up! It's the perfect place to start building my tiny houses ... I need to make a note of it so I can swing back by and take down their number. I met a nice fellow (I believe his name was Mark) who happened to work there as well as an architect. It was he who told me of the vacancy.
I continued my adventure on bike and was riding along the water front. I ended up going for a nice ride follow by some time in the park. I grabbed a sandwhich on the way and then spent some much needed time reading and relaxing.
During my ride I had stumbled upon a pile of free stuff, someone must have had too much. I got this book I mentioned earlier, about Claude Monet, a copy of clockwork orange and a purse! I'm not one for accessories like this ... I actually got it because I needed to make a bridge for my cat play area! The purse had a bunch of leather tassles that will be perfect for this!
In the park two young fellas were setting up a MASSIVE slack line. Like this thing was a hundred feet across. One of the guys so kindly offered to show me how to do it. He helped me stand up on the slack line and was a really A+ bloke. Without him I would have hurt myself for sure! I've walked on shorter ones before ... without much success, but I was astonished with how powerful the larger ones are. They stand at nearly 10' unloaded and then when you are in the middle they are a mere few inches off the ground. When you take your weight off of them they go flying into the air, reverberating all of their power like a bull whip. I am now even more impressed with those gifted individuals who have managed to master this art of balance.
After a quick turn on the slack line I returned to my book, took some time for yoga and finished with a nice moment of savasana. Yoga and meditation have become such integral parts of my life. It seems for the first time in my life I have really come to appreciate and honor my body and my mind. This anger that I carried for so long, this desire to self harm and say fuck it has morphed into a respect for myself that grows with every day. I am truly worthy of love, of respect and of taking care of my body mind spirit. No more beating myself up, consciously or not.
Well thats about it for today. Two of my new friends were headed up to the park on their bikes ... I think I'll go join them for a bit!