Scrambled thoughts with slices of full moon and a few drops of citron liquer.
Do you ever get that feeling of being in the right place the right time? Or with the right people around you? Like you if have finally found your place in the world?
Well... I don't.
I rarely complain or nag (outside work of course where I am doing just that) about what I don't have or what I don't get, nor talk too much about what I deserve or not, I just try to cope with the circumstances as they are. I often find myself in a moment where I am feeling enormously happy and content with what I have, even if what I have is nothing more than a beautiful view of the full moon.
However even at this moment of absolute happiness, I am ignorant of who I am and what I want from my life.
Maybe that's why I have tried so many things, always searching, always looking for that one sole "thing" or "person" that will make me feel complete.
This "search" comes at a cost, social and personal mainly. A cost that you have to pay upfront otherwise you will have to carry it with you during your travels, compromising the success of your quest; the desire for being.
Neuroscientists suggest that our brains are addicted to happiness, however the levels of pleasure are at their highest right before the completion of the task that we believe it will make us happy.
Maybe that's why our hearts beat faster right before the first kiss, before the interview for that fancy job, before we see the so desired message, before we show ourselves to the world on a Saturday night or even before we share a post and expose ourselves to the eyes of a not so interested crowd.
Cavafy of course had captured this excitement in his famous poem Ithaca, but is addiction supposed to become a purpose in life? Should the journey become THE PURPOSE in life? If this were true then why do we mock and ignore of all those souls that get lost on their way to Ecstasis?
In the end, this journey is nothing more than a journey to self love; to that single point in time when you can feel yourself worthy of love and see humanity as two arms that will hold you tight till your end, instead of two hands that are read to slap you each time you deviate from their expectation.
Anyway don't listen to me... truth is, I am a little high. Citron liquer and few drops of August's full moon did it for me.
"Another thing that people must give up is their suffering. It is very difficult also to sacrifice one's suffering. A man will renounce any pleasure you like but he will not give up his suffering. Man is made in such a way that he is never so attached to anything as he is to his suffering. And it is necessary to be free from suffering. No one who is not free from suffering, who has not sacrificed his suffering, can work. Nothing can be attained without suffering but at the same time, one must begin by sacrificing suffering. Now, decipher what this means."
P.D. Ouspensky's 'In Search Of The Miraculous'
"10pm. 850 meters to the parking lot and thirty five days to New Year’s Day. A million thoughts fly through my mind, a thousand Christmas lights feel on my skin like mosquito bites. Tomorrow I will resign. I waited too long, but it’s time to go. Look at me, thinking of my hectic job as an enemy, when for quite some time it has served me as medicine."
@mariandavp The Bear
10:35 pm. 10 meters to the parking lot and thirty two days to New Year’s Day. I still haven’t resigned – after all my work is my medicine. But the Bear is closer than ever… I can hear its footsteps as it comes out of the wilderness.
@mariandavp The Bear
Ι am interested to know how you interpret "suffering"... do you think it is the addiction to gain pleasure or the addiction to pain? Or both? I would tend to agree that people can be addicted to their suffering but only if suffering is predefined as desire for a certain something. But without this definition, I don't think the attachment to suffering applies to normal individuals otherwise nothing in this world would have developed. It is our natural instinct and tendency to remove all of the circumstances that create pain, even if pain is educational. The brain is also inclined to push back and forget memories that are stressful and cannot be handled. If this is not achieved then we are talking about traumatic experiences that turn into phobias and suffering, which indeed prevents us from many things. But fears lay in the most ancient parts of the brain that serve us as an alarm for potential danger and on which is very difficult to exercise free will... so asking someone who suffers to give up his suffering is like telling him to embrace death.
Thank you for your thoughtful response and questions. To do them at least a little justice, I am going to have to do some major pondering and self-examination. That takes time :-) but I will get to it!
In the mean time can I just throw out something from one of my favorite thinkers/authors, John G. Bennett? (The Dramatic Universe and many other works) via Ian MacFarlane's The Second Conscious Shock: From Ouspensky to the Tales
"Bennett distinguishes four types of suffering - Unnecessary Suffering, Unavoidable Suffering, Voluntary Suffering and Intentional Suffering. Lets have a look at each of these to see if they can help our understanding:
The first is Unnecessary Suffering. This would be the type of suffering that we incur because of our unreasonable attitudes and expectations towards others, from our ill-will, hatred and rejection of others, from doubt, possessiveness, arrogance and self pity. In other words, suffering arising from our self-importance.
The second is Unavoidable Suffering. This would be the type of suffering that comes to us by accident or from events beyond our control, such as interpersonal conflicts, war, disaster, disease or death.
Third, we have Voluntary Suffering. This would be the type of suffering that we take upon ourselves in order to accomplish a personal aim, such as an athlete who disciplines himself to win a race, or a student who labors to get good grades.
And finally we have Intentional Suffering. According to Bennett, this would be the kind of suffering that we take upon ourselves in order to accomplish an impersonal or altruistic goal, one that is directed more towards service to others or to the Work, and not for any personal gain."
Nothing to say . Just fell it
Not much to say, I understand)
You always do my friend 💖
Hey ! Cheer up gorgeous!
We´ve all been there I think. Finding the meaning of life has always been humanity´s toughest task... I have yet to find a convincing answer to that.
I reckon we al struggle with that at some point in our lives. My personal situation is a bit of a mess... almost 30 years old and still I have no clue what I want to do with my life, what is my true vocation... where is my soulmate.
But I like to take it easy and enjoy the search.
As John Lennon said: "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans" I try not to let the pressure get me, and enjoy each day while I try to find out what am I here for.
Don´t let it get you girl! At least you know you are not alone here, many of us struggle with the same things, we gotta keep our chins up! 😊💪
Thanks for sharing your feelings! I really appreciate when somebody opens up in such a honest way.
Peace!
Almost 30 years old... this is still quite young, but I get the agony. The agony is there irrespective of age. On the other hand if you knew all the answers and had found your place already wouldn't life be a bit more boring?
Almost 30 years old... this is still quite young, but I get the agony. The agony is there irrespective of age. On the other hand if you knew all the answers and had found your place already wouldn't life be a bit more boring?
Love it, I wonder if this feeling of being at the right place with the right people will ever come back sometime...
I don't believe in "random"... so I am pretty sure it will come back for good one day 😊
I keep hanging on for that 😉 @originalwork
Beautiful moon..........
and of course you too!
Hope you're having a great night @mariandavp!
LOVE YOURSELF :)
Thank you dear @jeffjagoe 😘😘😘
Anytime @mariandavp, Hope you're enjoying your holidaze! :)
the beautiful girl and the beautiful night :) with moonlight :)
😊 😶💖
"Even at this moment of absolute happiness, I am ignorant of who I am and what I want from my life." I can understand you, @mariandavp . In my life I've never know who I am or what I really want, in sad moments or very happy moments, but this "search of myself" help me to have many different experiences and to explore my imagination and so I think it's not so bad ;)
No it's definately not a bad thing... but maybe it is an artists' thing after all, as you say a push to creativity. I can see this in your art. Your figures have such beautiful big and expressive eyes looking into the soul.
Thanks for your words about my artwork, I really appreciate feedbacks because in my work as in my life, I'm always searching myself ^_^
The moon and the beautiful
😘😘🌷
Upboat is a friendly half-human, half-robot which hopes to help promote the better posts of Steemit by trying to ensure they get the recognition they deserve.
@UPBOAT looks for numerous signals before deciding on who to UPBOAT and is likely to summon our robot friends to share some robot love with you to show affection.
I'VE BEEN AT SEA FOR 4 DAYS AND HAVE GIVEN 87 UPBOATS! PLEASE HELP @UPBOAT STAY AFLOAT ON THE STEEMIAN SEAS BY DELEGATING SPARE SP OR PATCH WATER LEAKS BY UPBOATING.