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RE: Gatekeeper Short Story: Guilt and Guile
I love this! It's such a curious concept and really makes me want to read your book. I saw this, it was a bit confusing to read:
No longer having the crowd to give him cover, Guilt took to the sky, pulling himself along with his gravity casting as fast as he could. Guilt slowed him down, but she tried her best to use her own power over gravity to keep both of them moving.
Guilt is female and Guile is male, right? The pronouns in that bit aren't matching up and so I can't follow the action.
Excellent read, Rhet!
~ Mako
Yeah, admittedly this is a bit confusing. Since there is a lot of information in this, I'll try to unpack it here for clarity.
Both Guilt and Guile are gravity casters. Casting is a general magic system I use in my Gatekeepers novels that I tried to explain naturally throughout the first book. But just for this story, it's enough to know they have some basic flight and telekinesis powers, as does the guard chasing them. So, they both have the ability to fly, but Guilt isn't as fast as Guile, so she was trying not to slow them down. Her(Guilt) ability to gravity cast is also what allowed her to easily pickpocket the guard while they were right in front of him.
I may revisit this story to try to phrase things better and maybe more explicitly state these things.
No, I understand at least that basic bit, but what I can't figure out from the text is who is doing what.
Is this supposed to be Guile or are the pronouns supposed to be feminine? Haha
Ah, seems I got a bit of garbled descriptions all around. Found a couple other places where the name was incorrect. It was supposed to be Guile, there.
I knew it might be a bad idea to have two characters in such close proximity with such similar names. Gonna need to go back through this and triple proofread it now, lol.
Glad I could help!
~ Mako